The Competitive Mom

The thing I can't stand about some of these celebrity moms is how over identified they are with their children. The child is simply not allowed to have its own identity. A good example of this is Surie Cruise. The two are parading around in identical Armani outfits and Katie recently got a haircut to match her daughter's. The problem is that in Katie's case she looks more like she is trying to compete with her child than anything. In fact in some photos it is hard to tell who looks younger, Katie or Surie?

Some moms would probably really disagree with me but I think it is a big mistake to make your kid into your twin. It demons you by making you look younger and it makes the kid wonder who the parents are. You should not try to be narcissistic with your child unless you want to develop a full-blown codependency with him or her. Even real twins are not encouraged to dress alike or wear similar haircuts these days because it is toxic psychologically. A child needs to develop his or her own sense of self.

Another example of a mom that competes with her kid is Lindsay Lohan's mom. This is a mother that dresses like her daughter, goes out to all of the same night clubs as her and basically appropriates her identity wherever possible. She also drinks a lot and is into the celerity lifestyle of all night partying so it is not surprising that Lindsay turned out to be such a lush. This type of mother daughter competition is becoming so severe in celebrity land that even Dr. Phil did a show about it.

A competitive mom usually starts showing their jealousy of their own child quite young by stealing their friends, hobbies and styles of clothing. This often extends into adolescence when flirting with the boyfriend's beco0mes an issue.

According to an episode done on the Today show this t type of syndrome is more common than we think. The one gunmanship continues into adult hood. The mother makes comments that are a stab to her daughter's heart sitting there competing for the attentions of her husband and children.

I guess the moral of this story is that if you do not have a strong personality or emotional center than you probably should not have children. The damage you can do to a daughter by being competitive with her is immense. Jennifer Aniston is also a very famous example of this and so was Anna Nicole Smith. Mothers who competed with them with the result raised both that both were dumped completely from their daughter's lives.

The key is to let your daughter be who she is going to be and not to try and control her by insisting you wear the same clothes or have the same haircut. Remember that your child is not an extension of you. She is much more than that.

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The Worst Health Habits for Kids

According to the April 2008 edition of NEWSWEEK, kid's fitness experts have identified their six worst health habits.

If you want to keep your kids healthy and happy you are supposed to avoid Eating in front of a television or a computer. Both habits keep the kid too distracted and they do not figure out when their stomach is full. This can lead to mindless overeating.

Playing too many videogames and watching too much television can make your kid too fat. Way too many kids play hours and hours of videogames instead of getting outdoors to exercise. The problem is getting so bad that The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids under age 2 have no screen time at all. Kids older than two should watch no more than one to two hours of, and that kids older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of TV. Kids that watch too much television tend to eat twice as much food. Part of this is their exposure to ads for junk food. The answer is to substitute television-watching time with more exercise.

Kids choose foods that they find visually attractive so when introducing new foods that may be more nutritious then that pink cocooned encrusted snowball you need to make it more attractive. You also shouldn't force your kids to eating everything on their plate at once when introducing a nutritious food. There is something called the two bite rule where you give the child two bites and no more. This can make the child think about the food and request it next time.

You should also not keep too much junk in the cupboard. This is because older kids will raid the kitchen cupboards for food as soon as they come home from school. Fill the bottom drawers of your fridge with healthy foods like carrot sticks and keep the unhealthy stuff out of sight. You can also prepare cheese chunks; fruit slices or celery sticks and make them readily able for your child.

It is also a bad idea to get your kids used to prepackaged meals or frozen dinners. They are usually loaded with high levels of fat and sodium. The answer to this is to make a week's worth of lunches and freeze them all a head of time. This will reduce the busy mom temptation to send something unhealthy to school with your children.

Another thing to remember is that you are your child's main role model and they are going to eat in the same way you do. So if you are tearing open a bag of potato chips every time you watch television your kids are going to want to do the same.

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