Controlling Parents

Although discipline is important it is probably not a great idea to be a controlling parent. Being controlling can suppress the growth of your child's personality. You end up with an immature kid who does not know the difference between right and wrong. He or she may never learn to make decisions or support him or herself. They could live very late into life depending on only you.

There is a fine line between caring and being smothering. The effects of controlling parents can be very unhealthy. The child will never be able to assert his or independence. The parent makes all the decisions and the child never learns how to take responsibility for any of his actions. As the kid grows into adult the distress at leaving you or feeling out of control can turn the kid into an alcoholic or addict. They will bait other people so they can be parented or control. It will be very difficult for them to maintain a happy relationship.

Controlling parents never let a child speak. They discourage argument and even basic speech. They never ever listen to the child's point of view. The child may also not be allowed to make any decisions and if the child does have an opinion it is belittled and criticized. This can severely damage a kid's self esteem. The child will be afraid to approach job interviews, lovers or anything else in life worth having with any sort of confidence.
The controlling parent expects perfection from the child. The child is watched like a hawk and immediately criticized and chastised if they do not live up to some unreal expectations… Controlling parents scrutinize every action of the child. This type of parent might always be asking others where he or she might be.

Another hallmark of a controlling parent is never ever allowing the child to say no. When the child grows older he or she may not be able to develop 'wings to fly.' They may be discouraged from leaving home and never develop their own fully fledged personality or identity.

If a parent is controlling it is usually the result of having a bad childhood themselves. The cycle will just repeat itself again and again throughout generations if it is not corrected. With greater study into human behavior, more and more parents are being recognized as more controlling than caring for their children. If you think you are being too hard on your kid or kids you should try and get some counseling to try and figure out why you think this should be the case.