Some newly single moms feel guilty at the very thought of dating. Even though their ex betrayed them, they still feel like they are betraying the 'family' (especially the children) if they move on and try and find another spouse.
You have to find the emotional muscle to drop that baggage from the past or you will never put out the vibe that you are 'unattached' to others with the end result that nobody will be interested.
Yet another unique problem is that sometimes our former spouses are still in our lives and trying to prevent us from seeing new people. In this case you need to find the nerve to set boundaries with your ex and also explain that he or she has no choice in the matter when it comes to you seeing new people.
Keeping your ex on a 'need to know basis' is also a good idea in this scenario.' This means using someone else as a babysitter when you go out.
When it is time to start dating, you can start sharpening your mind again by reading the paper and catching up on current events. Sooner or later, you are going to have to talk to an adult â€”whether you like it or not!
In order to become this confident, happy and sexy person that others will want to date you first have to check any emotional baggage or chips that you may have on your shoulder at the door. Without the psychological muscle to dispense with these matters you will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, always talking about your ex or projecting bitter experiences and unpleasant qualities onto a newcomer.
It also helps to be diplomatic with your time to make sure everyone that you love is getting an equal shake. This is especially true if you find yourself falling in love with someone you meet while you are dating. You must be careful not to create confusion and insecurity with your kids as they often resent people who they see as stealing or replacing a parent in their lives.
The key is to go slowly. Do not introduce the new person to anyone unless you are really certain that it is going to have long term potential. If you introduce someone who is not going to stick around it creates a lot of tension and emotional problems for your children . Most children of single parents are already suffering from psychological issues of abandonment.
A date that is worth having in your life is one who is going to understand the need for you to ease him or her gently into your family circle.