If you are a parent then you are assessing your date for his long term potential as a mate. It is all too easy early in the game to meet someone online or offline and then give into wishful thinking about suitability for a parent.
Maturity matters because the last thing you need to do is look after another kid. What you are looking for is someone who is going to help you, not be a burden to you for any reason.
People make excuses for people they are attracted to all for the time. Women especially excuse potential dates for immature or downright dishonest behavior because they are tired, newly divorced, under too much stress or simply tired of looking for a mate. Many people settle for less because they don't have the faith that they can find someone better.
The early warning signs that someone is going to be irresponsible are always there. They include –
• Unpredictability
• Unreliability
• Saying they will be in one place and then you find out they are in another
• Standing you up
• Lying about the past
• Lying about the present
• Throwing a tantrum when they do not get their way
• Blaming any flaws in your young relationship on you
• Lack of commitment or being able to talk about it.
• Ogling other people when with you
• Only being interested in sex
• Does not return calls
• An inability to communicate
• Talking constantly about the past or an ex
• Seems secretive
Women in particular should watch out for men who never call them. Let the male call you as that means he is interested and going to some effort to be with you.
If you are talking to the potential date online through chat or email signs that he or she might be a good mate are ..
• Prompt responses to emails or ims
• Spells wells
• Has a sense of humor
• Never belittles you or a member of the opposite sex (note that this applies to both men and women and the word misogynist applies to both sexes)
• The profile picture does not look fake or doctored
• Answers all of your questions
• Does not create confusion or mysteries on purpose
• Does not appear to be drunk or upset when they talk to you
It is also a good idea to date a person that you feel is right for you and your kids on multiple levels and not because he or she has one thing – the right chemistry or is filthy rich for example.