If your child is hitting you, saying he hates you or telling you not to look at him you have a problem. This is how a feisty toddler uses rejection to control you.
If you have displayed any type of softness at all towards your toddler they know they can manipulate you emotionally. It is usually to get out of doing what is asked or to get their own way. It is astounding how very young children can learn this trick as well.
If you want to change behavior start by ignoring your child's statements while maintaining your usual expectation that the child must do as he or she is told. Don't discuss what the child is doing as it only reinforces the behavior. If your kid talks back to you or makes demands do not answer back. The key is to not get caught up in your child's wave of negativity. Keep your attention on directing your child back to task.
If your kid does start behaving well try to give him or her all kinds of positive attention. This is also a good time to tell the kid you love him or her. If you submit the child willed up being the boss and not you.
If your child hits you should never ever hit back. Give the kid a time out instead. In a firm but quiet voice say, 'no hitting.' Then take your kid quietly by the forearm and lead him or her to a step or a chair. Make him or her sit there for five or ten seconds more.
If your child is used to be in control of you and if you start to turn things around then be prepared for protesting. Your child will not like losing control of you. Our child will try harder to get you to submit to their will. They may tell you louder that they don't love you, they may it harder and they may scream and throw a tantrum.
You child will protest and insult you and even get violent. Do not give in. Giving in while this going on can make everything worse. If your child is screaming and yelling while in a time out then watch form a distance. Ignore it until it is settled. This can take great patience but it is worth it when the child finally behaves.
The only time you should intervene is if the kid is going to hurt him or herself in order to get attention. If this is the case it may be time to seek professional help.