Managing Team Building

Bullying is a fact of life but that does not mean it should be 'just let go'. If your child is the one being bullied it can cause a lot of damage to his or her self-esteem. Nowadays teens and young children are experience even more violence than ever. My own personal opinion is that this is caused by stress and nervous tensions. Teens today have more reason to be depressed than ever. They have schedules as bad as we do. It also seems they are losing their innocence when they are younger then ever.

Bullying has even caused suicides in very young children and teens because it makes them feel so left out of their peer group. A kid subject to bullying may also see no recourse or no way out of the situation. With no way to fight they give up and become very depressed.

If your child's behavior shows any changes you should encourage them to talk to you. Often a sullen or withdrawn kid or one that looks depressed is dealing with a bully at school. Let's face it. If you own a child they will not always tell you what is wrong. You need to perceptive. I am an excellent min d reader.

One tip off is the kid that keeps trying to think of ways to get out of going to school. Teens may not sleep or act listless. There may be no engagement at all in any social activities. They may be irritable and even bully other children to kind of release the energy of what is being done to them all day. In some cases the bullying is so bad that your kid can't eat, develops an ulcer or becomes physically ill.

If you find out there is a bully you need to instruct your child on how to avoid it. Often that is all you can do to help them avoid it. Make sure that they know that it is the bully that has the problem or that is not good enough and not they. You can also teach your child to avoid bullies whenever possible without changing too much of their lives. The idea is to find a compromise between avoiding the bully and having the bully control your life.

Kids also have to know that violence also makes it worse. Tell them of the dangers of fighting fire with fire and how that can cause conflicts to escalate.

You should also tell your kid to stand their ground and walk away from bullies. This is part of a lesson about choosing your battles wisely. If a bully approaches you make sure that they aren't afraid and that you will not be pushed around.

I always contact the school officials when this sort of thing happens. They are more serious about stopping bullying then ever as they have figured out that this type of aggression can lead to something as severe as the Columbine high school shootings.

Parenting Tips
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When PreSchoolers Swear

It's easy to pick up swear words and you can't really blame children for it. Most of them think it is part of normal language. The worst is when your little enunciator is only two years old and starts swearing like a sailor in his high chair. Of course the most likely place he or she heard these words in the first place is probably from you.

Still it is very disturbing seeing this little angelic being cursing like the devil even if it is kind of funny. Some kids swear just as you feel that you might come out with a few curse words of your own.

The upside here is that if your kid is swearing it is a good sign he or she is listening to everything. It is natural for a kid to pick up words fast and a sign that he or she catches on quickly. The thing is too that they will catch up on words that have some kind of emotion attached to them.

The worst thing you can do is encourage a baby to swear by smiling or laughing. This is just positive reinforcement and he or she will just do it more. Swearing can get them into big trouble if they go back to school. Best to nip this kind of thing in the bud before they are called down to the principal's office or you get that call at home that your kid is a bad influence on the other children in the home.

One way to stop your kids from imitating you from swearing is to stop doing it yourself. Simply avoid bad language. Try alternative expressions to swear words such as hogwash, phooey, nuts, shoot or blast it. This also makes your kids laugh and it just does not sound as bad as the real cursing.

One of the challenges here is that a kid under the age of three is often saying words with little ability to know what they mean. It is after their third birthday that the comprehend the meaning of what they are saying more. Once your kid is over three years you are more likely to get a response if you say something like 'This is not a word we use in our family.' Or 'This is not a polite word.'

Another trick is to make the word and not the child bad. Do not shame the child for using the language. Instead point out the bad word and encourage the kid to move away from it psychologically. A shamed kid is also more likely to swear out of nervousness and it becomes a vicious cycle.

If your four year old swears a short time out might help. You could also try taking away a favorite toy. If your older kid swears then it is time for grounding, withdrawal of allowance or time spent in their rooms. Forget the old washing their mouths out with soap. Nobody does this anymore.

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