Controlling Parents

Although discipline is important it is probably not a great idea to be a controlling parent. Being controlling can suppress the growth of your child's personality. You end up with an immature kid who does not know the difference between right and wrong. He or she may never learn to make decisions or support him or herself. They could live very late into life depending on only you.

There is a fine line between caring and being smothering. The effects of controlling parents can be very unhealthy. The child will never be able to assert his or independence. The parent makes all the decisions and the child never learns how to take responsibility for any of his actions. As the kid grows into adult the distress at leaving you or feeling out of control can turn the kid into an alcoholic or addict. They will bait other people so they can be parented or control. It will be very difficult for them to maintain a happy relationship.

Controlling parents never let a child speak. They discourage argument and even basic speech. They never ever listen to the child's point of view. The child may also not be allowed to make any decisions and if the child does have an opinion it is belittled and criticized. This can severely damage a kid's self esteem. The child will be afraid to approach job interviews, lovers or anything else in life worth having with any sort of confidence.
The controlling parent expects perfection from the child. The child is watched like a hawk and immediately criticized and chastised if they do not live up to some unreal expectations… Controlling parents scrutinize every action of the child. This type of parent might always be asking others where he or she might be.

Another hallmark of a controlling parent is never ever allowing the child to say no. When the child grows older he or she may not be able to develop 'wings to fly.' They may be discouraged from leaving home and never develop their own fully fledged personality or identity.

If a parent is controlling it is usually the result of having a bad childhood themselves. The cycle will just repeat itself again and again throughout generations if it is not corrected. With greater study into human behavior, more and more parents are being recognized as more controlling than caring for their children. If you think you are being too hard on your kid or kids you should try and get some counseling to try and figure out why you think this should be the case.

What to Do With A Bratty Kid

Let's face it. There is nothing worse then your bratty little kid throwing a tantrum in public. It makes you wonder what kind of monster he or she will grow up to be. Sometime you can see a bully or master manipulator about to flower. It can be unpleasant.

Some bad behavior is normal. Toddlers always hit each other and shove each other around. It is also normal for them to grab things whenever they can. However it is not normal for a six year old to be doing the same things. Maturity is growing out of the bad behaviors associated with being a toddler.

A toddler that pushes another might seem like a bully but this is normal behavior. However if an eight year old does it then it is time to show some discipline. Step in and stop the behavior.

There are lots of reasons a kid can be badly behaved and not all of them are your fault. You can gently encourage your child to play nicely with other children and punish him or her if they are violent, grabby or pushy. Explain all about behavior in your best baby talk. This will help them learn how to mature into a nice six year old.

Whiny toddlers can grow up to be rude teenagers. It is okay for a toddler to think they are the center of the universe but it is not so attractive in an older kid. You do not want your fourteen year old to think that the world revolves around her and nobody else and that they can do whatever they want to.

One thing I learned is that it is a big mistake to reward any behavior like this. Never cave in to a bratty kid. If you reward bad behaviors the kid will never ever stop them. Reprimand the child without being rude yourself. Explain why the behavior was wrong and why they might be distracting or upsetting to others.
Don't feel bad having to discipline a child for being a brat. You are, in the end, teaching him or her to have good manners. Don't let your child interrupt when someone else is talking. Make him or her say 'thank you and please.' Explain to your kid how having good manners makes others more inclined to help him or her in the world.

Don't forget the other side of the coin! You should also be specific with congratulations and praise if your kid does well. Reward him or her for acting appropriately in social setting. Be a good role model and you child will follow your example. That means no throwing tantrums for you either!