Nowadays it is customary for the Baby Shower to be thrown before the birth of the baby. These events are planned anywhere from six-months to just a couple of days before the blessed event. Probably the optimum time to throw a party is in the third trimester of pregnancy, but not too close to the actually expected birth date. This spares the mother undue stress, as even happy stress can take its toll. It also gives her time to sort out and put away her loot.
Then of course there are those babies that arrive early and show up as an unexpected guest at their own baby shower!
Although it is traditional to throw the baby shower before birth, it is still perfectly acceptable to suggest that a baby shower be thrown after the baby is born. It is especially acceptable to suggest this if for some reason, nobody else has volunteered to engineer the event. Showers are also thrown after the adoption of a child and in this case, the child can be much older than an infant.
The baby shower has come along ways from the days when it was never thrown before the baby’s birth. This presumption was based on an old superstition, that all of the presents and celebration might attract they eye of Lilith, an evil angel, who may spirit the baby’s soul away. The sad truth is that most babies did pass away during birth so nobody wanted to celebrate something that may not happen.
Showers have also mutated over the years into Jack and Jill events, where both sexes, including the father of the child and his friends, are invited to celebrate along with the girls. Unlike women’s baby showers, which have a focus on games, these showers are more about circulating with family and friends and sharing a good meal in honor of the expectant mother. It is the most contemporary way of holding a shower and furthermore there does not have to be a diaper pin or baby shower game in sight!
It is also traditional to throw the shower at a best friend or relative’s house, rather than at the expectant mother’s house to spare her the hassle of a mess to clean up the next day. It also gives her privilege of being able to say good-bye and leave the party. She may feel the need to rest, rather than feel pressured to entertain guests who are in no hurry to leave. However some mothers do feel more comfortable at home and throwing it at her house may save her a lot of transportation and the hauling around of her goodies. Rule of thumb — when in doubt be sure to ask the mom to be if she wants a shower at her house. The answer could be no!