Emotional Obstacles for Single Moms

Some newly single moms feel guilty at the very thought of dating. Even though their ex betrayed them, they still feel like they are betraying the 'family' (especially the children) if they move on and try and find another spouse.

You have to find the emotional muscle to drop that baggage from the past or you will never put out the vibe that you are 'unattached' to others with the end result that nobody will be interested.

Yet another unique problem is that sometimes our former spouses are still in our lives and trying to prevent us from seeing new people. In this case you need to find the nerve to set boundaries with your ex and also explain that he or she has no choice in the matter when it comes to you seeing new people.

Keeping your ex on a 'need to know basis' is also a good idea in this scenario.' This means using someone else as a babysitter when you go out.

When it is time to start dating, you can start sharpening your mind again by reading the paper and catching up on current events. Sooner or later, you are going to have to talk to an adult —whether you like it or not!

In order to become this confident, happy and sexy person that others will want to date you first have to check any emotional baggage or chips that you may have on your shoulder at the door. Without the psychological muscle to dispense with these matters you will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, always talking about your ex or projecting bitter experiences and unpleasant qualities onto a newcomer.

It also helps to be diplomatic with your time to make sure everyone that you love is getting an equal shake. This is especially true if you find yourself falling in love with someone you meet while you are dating. You must be careful not to create confusion and insecurity with your kids as they often resent people who they see as stealing or replacing a parent in their lives.

The key is to go slowly. Do not introduce the new person to anyone unless you are really certain that it is going to have long term potential. If you introduce someone who is not going to stick around it creates a lot of tension and emotional problems for your children . Most children of single parents are already suffering from psychological issues of abandonment.

A date that is worth having in your life is one who is going to understand the need for you to ease him or her gently into your family circle.

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Do You Need a Live-In Nanny?

Do you really need a babysitter? Or is it really a nanny or a chef or a maid that you need in your home. If you need everything done at once, including the gardening, maybe it is a live-in couple that you need in your home.

The bottom line is that babysitters on not paid a lot of money and are expected to look after your kids and nothing else. Don't expect him or her to cook, clean or educate your kid. That is not in the job description.

However these chores can be in the job description of a nanny, especially a live-in nanny or a domestic live-in couple. Indeed many professional nannies are well versed in child psychological, child behavior and also many are full blown teachers with the ability to home school your child should you think that is necessary. Many nannies also know a lot about nutrition these days and are expert cooks.

Most people figure out that they need a nanny or that they should be for jobs for a couple when they realize that their job or career is going to require travel. In this case the live in couple or nanny can fill in as a substitute parent or parents until the real parents return. Sometimes you want to take your kids on the road in which case a nanny can be a very valuable asset.

If you are bad sticking to a routine with your children then you might really benefit from having a nanny. Most nannies are excellent at organizing your home and helping you stick to a schedule. If this is something you have never been able to get together than a nanny might be the best thing that ever happened to you in your entire life!

However not all nannies are super organized. Like all of us many of them have different personal strengths and weaknesses. The nanny that is less organized might be better emotionally or creatively with children for instance.

Don't think that you have to be rich or famous to deserve a nanny. Those days are over. Nowadays people from all walks of life are banding up with other couples to take care of kids or advertising for live in couple jobs to cut costs and share responsibilities.

Nowadays too, hiring a nanny to educate your kid can actually be cheaper than enrolling your child in a school or some kind of daycare. That is why so many people are opting for it. Furthermore it means that your children will be in a cleaner more comfortable environment and less liable to be exposed to viruses and germs.

The downside of having a nanny is that your kid may not be socialized with other children at an early age. Sometimes daycare and the public school system is an important part of having your children get along with others.

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