Things That Teens Believe About Relationships

When it comes to friendships many teenage kids are laboring under some big misconceptions. It is up to you as a parent to watch out for some of them and correct them so that they do not become chronic life-long beliefs that limit their options in life or ability to relate to others.

Perhaps the biggest and stupidest myth that teenagers subscribe to is that girls and boys can't be friends. Make sure your teen knows that the longest-term and most successful relationships come from men and women who are friends first. Stress that it is important to have a relationship with someone who likes and respects you before you get intimate and physical. Warn them about how easy it is to pretend that someone you are attracted to is actually your best friend.

Another thing that a teen that does not date is not cool. This is ridiculous as many teens do not date because they are concentrating on school, extra-curricular clubs or community interests. Many also do not date because of family or religious beliefs. Explain how it is important to develop your own character as well as relationships with others.

Unfortunately many teens also believe that a girl that has a lot of friends that are boys is a slut. This is the kind of profiling of young females that can be very damaging. If your child is partaking in the kind of gossip that brands a young woman as a slut then you need to correct his trend just in the name of being a good feminist.

Another thing that girls in particular believe is that if they are taken out on a date and a boy spends a lot of money on them then they have to put out. You need to tell your boys and your girls that money does not equal sexual favors. No one should be pressured or intimidated into giving sex to someone else. This is also why it is a good idea to convince your teens to do inexpensive or free things with the opposite sex like take a bike ride or got a movie matinee. This very wide-spread belief is also why you should always make sure that your teenage girl has enough money to get home, pay her own way or do what it takes to get out of situations where someone may be offering to pay her way in return for sex.

Why Your Kid Puts Up With Bullying

While youth crime in general has been on the wane, the number of youth crimes involving violence has increased. In 1986 about 8.5 per cent of all youth crimes were classified as violent. By 1996 it was up to 18.5 per cent. Basically this means that your kid is quite vulnerable to being intimidated at school or on the playground or when you least expect it.

It’s during the younger teen years that kids are more likely to be bullied. One of the most common forms of violence is extortion. Victims are intimidated into giving up lunch money on a regular basis (sometimes called “taxing”) or handing over stuff that kids value like PSPs, clothing or shoes. The bully gets worse whenever there is a new fashion fad.

Terror prevents your kid from telling you what is going on. A child can spend all day being ignored by everyone she knows just because she dared to confront a bully. She also risks losing her stuff, being misunderstood by teachers when she is blamed for stuff she did not do and also very real physical violence.

Another reason for violence just seems to be gossip or rumors or territorial behavior. Usually this is of a social nature and has to do with budding romances. Your kid may not tell you what is going on simply because they would really rather that you do not know that they like some girl or boy at school. It is completely embarrassing for them to think that you would intervene in a romantic matter. They tend to get up in dramas that they think are none of your business.

Bullies do not like betrayal so one solution is to give your kid a code word to use if there happens to be a bully nearby. That way you can be warned of trouble and avoid a confusing situation. A code word helped my kid reveal who was bullying her on the school ground without actually having to 'tell me.' A teacher and I were able to deal with it immediately.

Some police departments and schools, particularly in larger cities, are taking youth violence and teenage gangs more seriously, but many victims are won't ask for help from, adults. Partly, they fear vindictiveness from the bullies. Many don't have sex that their parents will take them seriously. However adult intervention into these bullying situations is absolutely essential sometimes or else someone can get seriously hurt.