How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Intelligent kids are one thing but they will not get anywhere in life if they are not emotionally intelligent as well. There are four criterions for measuring the emotional intelligence of any child.
• Criteria number one is the ability to identify emotions. This means that you are able to identify how others around you must feel.

• The second criterion knows how to generate an emotion and also reason with emotions that come up.

• The third criteria are to know how to understand complex emotions and how they transform from one stage another.

• The fourth is the skill of manning one's emotions so that decisions and behaviors are not based on them. These are social skills that no child should be without.
Part of this is establishing emotional security in the child when it is very young. You need to nurture the baby when he or she is very young. The first two years have to do with language development and this is the time to develop positive self-talk and also a time to instill how to talk kindly to others. This is the time to make the child feel secure, to relate to him and to nurture positive thoughts and emotions.

The more social interaction your child has the more able he or she will be able to intermingle successfully with others. Emotional well-being is also the ability to get things off the chest. If your child does have a problem let him or her know it is okay and also that it is okay to express their feelings as well. Stuffing feelings down leads to insecure kids, mentally ill kids and kids with anger problems. Many children who are shamed for expressing their feelings tend to be angry, controlling and shame others. They have no idea how to make others feel loved and therefore never get the love they need.

The child learns emotional skills from birth to four years old and after that their emotional make-up may be difficult to develop further. This is why any type of emotional abuse is so hard on a kid. Be aware that if you are not there for your child and communicating in loving way you may be setting up your child for real disaster. If you are a mother with normal instincts then teaching your child to relate to others should be simple; it really is a thing that most emotionally healthy mothers have a gut instinct to do.

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Good Advice to Pass On to Your Kids

Many of us are good parents but we rarely tell kids about the psychological side of life. There are many things we need to tell them so that they live emotionally and mentally healthy lives that can help them accomplish their life goals.

Always remind your child that they are only human and less than perfect. Most people who try hard do not always get things right. Teach your kid to forgive him or she as troubled people often have terrible inner critics that make them fearful of getting things done in life.

It is also important to teach your kid to not hold grudges and let go of the past. If you are unable to let go you cannot move on. You will stay stuck in the time and place where you were offended and this is no way to live.

It is also important to tell your children to 'tell yourself the truth.' People who are deluded do not get things done. People should also try to be realistic and make promises to themselves and others that they can really keep.

Another nugget of wisdom is to tell your children to take life one day at a time. Most situations did not take a day to get into and there is no sense thinking that you will get out of it in a day. Be aware of how snarls in life happen and realistic about your time-lines for problem solving.

Teaching your child to keep records to keep track of progress is also a good idea. This is part of being good to yourself and not straining your brain by being disorganized. It is so important to make daily goals and keep track of your progress every day.

Tell your child that he or she is what they think. They must think the right thoughts because if you do not you can't speak the right words. Think of yourself as a person of strength and commitment and you will be.

It is also important to teach your child to say no. It is no good to be a people-pleaser. People like to keep us where they find us. They are reluctant to have us change because if we do, they have to do. When friends or family constantly remind you of your weaknesses or flaws it is time to tell them that you are going to change.

It is also important to pass on the idea that if you do say that you will do something that you will do it. That will not only have you believing in yourself but others will believe in you too!

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