Show Your Preschooler Who’s the Boss

If your child is hitting you, saying he hates you or telling you not to look at him you have a problem. This is how a feisty toddler uses rejection to control you.

If you have displayed any type of softness at all towards your toddler they know they can manipulate you emotionally. It is usually to get out of doing what is asked or to get their own way. It is astounding how very young children can learn this trick as well.

If you want to change behavior start by ignoring your child's statements while maintaining your usual expectation that the child must do as he or she is told. Don't discuss what the child is doing as it only reinforces the behavior. If your kid talks back to you or makes demands do not answer back. The key is to not get caught up in your child's wave of negativity. Keep your attention on directing your child back to task.

If your kid does start behaving well try to give him or her all kinds of positive attention. This is also a good time to tell the kid you love him or her. If you submit the child willed up being the boss and not you.

If your child hits you should never ever hit back. Give the kid a time out instead. In a firm but quiet voice say, 'no hitting.' Then take your kid quietly by the forearm and lead him or her to a step or a chair. Make him or her sit there for five or ten seconds more.

If your child is used to be in control of you and if you start to turn things around then be prepared for protesting. Your child will not like losing control of you. Our child will try harder to get you to submit to their will. They may tell you louder that they don't love you, they may it harder and they may scream and throw a tantrum.

You child will protest and insult you and even get violent. Do not give in. Giving in while this going on can make everything worse. If your child is screaming and yelling while in a time out then watch form a distance. Ignore it until it is settled. This can take great patience but it is worth it when the child finally behaves.

The only time you should intervene is if the kid is going to hurt him or herself in order to get attention. If this is the case it may be time to seek professional help.

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Why Your Kid Puts Up With Bullying

While youth crime in general has been on the wane, the number of youth crimes involving violence has increased. In 1986 about 8.5 per cent of all youth crimes were classified as violent. By 1996 it was up to 18.5 per cent. Basically this means that your kid is quite vulnerable to being intimidated at school or on the playground or when you least expect it.

It’s during the younger teen years that kids are more likely to be bullied. One of the most common forms of violence is extortion. Victims are intimidated into giving up lunch money on a regular basis (sometimes called “taxing”) or handing over stuff that kids value like PSPs, clothing or shoes. The bully gets worse whenever there is a new fashion fad.

Terror prevents your kid from telling you what is going on. A child can spend all day being ignored by everyone she knows just because she dared to confront a bully. She also risks losing her stuff, being misunderstood by teachers when she is blamed for stuff she did not do and also very real physical violence.

Another reason for violence just seems to be gossip or rumors or territorial behavior. Usually this is of a social nature and has to do with budding romances. Your kid may not tell you what is going on simply because they would really rather that you do not know that they like some girl or boy at school. It is completely embarrassing for them to think that you would intervene in a romantic matter. They tend to get up in dramas that they think are none of your business.

Bullies do not like betrayal so one solution is to give your kid a code word to use if there happens to be a bully nearby. That way you can be warned of trouble and avoid a confusing situation. A code word helped my kid reveal who was bullying her on the school ground without actually having to 'tell me.' A teacher and I were able to deal with it immediately.

Some police departments and schools, particularly in larger cities, are taking youth violence and teenage gangs more seriously, but many victims are won't ask for help from, adults. Partly, they fear vindictiveness from the bullies. Many don't have sex that their parents will take them seriously. However adult intervention into these bullying situations is absolutely essential sometimes or else someone can get seriously hurt.

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