Infertility is Not Always the Woman’s Fault

Infertility is a problem that affects millions of couples all over the world every year as they vainly struggle to create the baby for whom they are so desperate. Infertility is also a problem that can affect both partners as it is not something that is restricted to one gender or the other either.
Indeed, it's a total myth that infertility or the inability of a couple to have a baby is always a ‘woman's problem' as studies indicate that at least half of all situations where a couple have been trying for a baby and failed are in some way connected to male reproductive problems.
A further complication for couples who are trying to have a baby without success is that it is often difficult to understand why they should be failing to achieve their dreams. It is not always completely straightforward to establish that one or the other partner has a genuine infertility problem without seeking medical attention, and given that there is perhaps a degree of embarrassment attached to doing so, this does not always happen.
On the other hand, as you will discover later, the number of couples who do seek medical attention for fertility problems that then conceive almost immediately is surprising high. Being embarrassed is clearly not the only possible reaction to having to seek medical attention for infertility!
In fact, according to the US statistics, approximately one third of infertility problems are caused by female difficulties, whilst another one third can be ‘blamed' on the man.
Nevertheless, even though men and women are about equally responsible for infertility problems, it is estimated that approximately 10% of women in the USA (just over 6 million people) do have fertility problems according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) section of the US Department of Health and Human Services.
The percentages of infertility problems that can be ascribed to one partner or the other vary from one country to country too. For example, in the UK, 25% of the problems are caused by male difficulties, 50% are caused by female difficulties with 25% having no known cause. And unlike the US figures, the percentage of infertile couples who both suffered difficulties is only 10% in Sweden, so statistics do vary from country to country.
However, on a worldwide basis, it is believed that around one in every seven couples has difficulties conceiving with data from most countries indicating that irrespective of development levels and the standard of living, the ratio seems to hold fairly stable.
In approximately 20% of cases where infertility is a problem, both the male and female have reproductive system difficulties whilst in the final 10% of apparent infertility situations, there is no cause that can be found. Age increases the possibility of infertility as well, so this is another factor that needs to be taken into account.
So there goes that myth!

Ask for Help With Your Baby

One mistake I made when my baby was born was to turn into a control freak. I just would not let others help me with my problems. It's because I felt like I had to be hands on all the time. I was particularly mean to my partner that way. He felt like I did not trust him.
The truth is that I made a mistake by not letting the father of my child help me more. I did not give him the chance to help me with the baby. I treated him like he was clueless and therefore he acted like he was. It was not that I deliberately set him up to fail but I did not encourage him to help me as much as I should have. I also felt like I was going to have to teach him everything.
I regret that attitude especially as I see how great he is with the children now. I realize that he could have learned by trial and error how to take care of the kids just like I did. I was just as clueless as him when I took home our very first child.
Very few husbands walk away from helping. However there are that few that go 'You are much better than me than that stuff.' Don't let your husband get away with this. He is just as responsible as you for the post labor predicaments that take place. If you don't give them an opportunity to practice their parenting skills they will never learn them at all.
I found too that I had great success with simply turning to other women for help. I had many neighbours take me under their wings. As I was new when I first moved here they helped me find everything from a paediatrician to a yoga class to a preschool. They also kept me sane after the baby was born. I really do think that the wisdom and compassion of other women is absolutely essential after you give birth. It seems that only another mother can truly understand how excited, overwhelmed and scared we feel when we first have a baby. Let's face it! It is just too hard to talk to a man about things like nipple latching' or nipple cream.
Yet another good reason for bonding with women in your neighbourhood simply to help each other with things likes babysitting. I shared a sitter twice a week with one neighbour just to give my other kids some play time together and to keep the total costs of my babysitting down.
You might also have to eliminate friends who are just not that helpful or critical of your mothering skills. Some of us have friends that are giant children in themselves. They are like grown up little girls and expect you to mother them even after you have had a child of your own. Needy girlfriends may no longer be able to get the attention that they seek from you.