Controlling Parents

Although discipline is important it is probably not a great idea to be a controlling parent. Being controlling can suppress the growth of your child's personality. You end up with an immature kid who does not know the difference between right and wrong. He or she may never learn to make decisions or support him or herself. They could live very late into life depending on only you.

There is a fine line between caring and being smothering. The effects of controlling parents can be very unhealthy. The child will never be able to assert his or independence. The parent makes all the decisions and the child never learns how to take responsibility for any of his actions. As the kid grows into adult the distress at leaving you or feeling out of control can turn the kid into an alcoholic or addict. They will bait other people so they can be parented or control. It will be very difficult for them to maintain a happy relationship.

Controlling parents never let a child speak. They discourage argument and even basic speech. They never ever listen to the child's point of view. The child may also not be allowed to make any decisions and if the child does have an opinion it is belittled and criticized. This can severely damage a kid's self esteem. The child will be afraid to approach job interviews, lovers or anything else in life worth having with any sort of confidence.
The controlling parent expects perfection from the child. The child is watched like a hawk and immediately criticized and chastised if they do not live up to some unreal expectations… Controlling parents scrutinize every action of the child. This type of parent might always be asking others where he or she might be.

Another hallmark of a controlling parent is never ever allowing the child to say no. When the child grows older he or she may not be able to develop 'wings to fly.' They may be discouraged from leaving home and never develop their own fully fledged personality or identity.

If a parent is controlling it is usually the result of having a bad childhood themselves. The cycle will just repeat itself again and again throughout generations if it is not corrected. With greater study into human behavior, more and more parents are being recognized as more controlling than caring for their children. If you think you are being too hard on your kid or kids you should try and get some counseling to try and figure out why you think this should be the case.

Do You Need a Live-In Nanny?

Do you really need a babysitter? Or is it really a nanny or a chef or a maid that you need in your home. If you need everything done at once, including the gardening, maybe it is a live-in couple that you need in your home.

The bottom line is that babysitters on not paid a lot of money and are expected to look after your kids and nothing else. Don't expect him or her to cook, clean or educate your kid. That is not in the job description.

However these chores can be in the job description of a nanny, especially a live-in nanny or a domestic live-in couple. Indeed many professional nannies are well versed in child psychological, child behavior and also many are full blown teachers with the ability to home school your child should you think that is necessary. Many nannies also know a lot about nutrition these days and are expert cooks.

Most people figure out that they need a nanny or that they should be for jobs for a couple when they realize that their job or career is going to require travel. In this case the live in couple or nanny can fill in as a substitute parent or parents until the real parents return. Sometimes you want to take your kids on the road in which case a nanny can be a very valuable asset.

If you are bad sticking to a routine with your children then you might really benefit from having a nanny. Most nannies are excellent at organizing your home and helping you stick to a schedule. If this is something you have never been able to get together than a nanny might be the best thing that ever happened to you in your entire life!

However not all nannies are super organized. Like all of us many of them have different personal strengths and weaknesses. The nanny that is less organized might be better emotionally or creatively with children for instance.

Don't think that you have to be rich or famous to deserve a nanny. Those days are over. Nowadays people from all walks of life are banding up with other couples to take care of kids or advertising for live in couple jobs to cut costs and share responsibilities.

Nowadays too, hiring a nanny to educate your kid can actually be cheaper than enrolling your child in a school or some kind of daycare. That is why so many people are opting for it. Furthermore it means that your children will be in a cleaner more comfortable environment and less liable to be exposed to viruses and germs.

The downside of having a nanny is that your kid may not be socialized with other children at an early age. Sometimes daycare and the public school system is an important part of having your children get along with others.