Why You Should Give Your Kids A Massage

Giving your kids a massage is more than just a way of expressing affection. Rubbing your child's skin and manipulating his or her muscles has many benefits.
With massage, you can include all of the following positives:
Massage is deeply relaxing for the recipient;
• It is a holistic form of treatment that treats every part of the being, including the physical body, the mind and the soul;
• It relieves tension, stress and anxiety, as well as encouraging relaxed muscles;
• It increases your awareness of and respect for your own body, which in itself has significant health benefits;
• It helps to improve blood flow and assists your body in its efforts to detoxify itself
• It helps promote speedier repair of damaged tissues and of course alleviates the pain that these damaged parts can cause;
• It aids digestion and strengthens your immune system;
• It imparts a general sense of heightened well being and above all else, there is very little that I know of that makes you or your child feel better than a good massage!
As you have just read, there are many physical benefits that you can enjoy as a result of a good massage but there are some additional, less obvious benefits that are specifically appropriate to those in a relationship too.
The fact is, massage can play a vital role in pulling two partners ever closer together primarily because massage (from the point of view of the partner providing the massage) is all about giving love and approval.
Massage is a superbly effective method of non-verbal communication that allows each person to get to know, understand and appreciate their partner far more intimately on a physical level, way beyond anything that they might ever know about one another without massage. I have found it useful for when my teenage daughter has decided to be all non-verbal and difficult. Sometimes the literal pat on the shoulder means so much to her I can see the tears in her eyes.
Therapists often report that people get more in a confessional mode when they are being massaged. This to me means that my child is more inclined to tell me the truth about what is going on her life because she is all relaxed and loosened up.
Furthermore, you do not have to be a world class massage practitioner for you and your child to gain huge benefits from the use of massage in your relationship either. Almost by definition, if you practice massage with your kid on a daily basis, you will become the best massage therapist they have ever had without ever really trying simply because you know better than anyone else ever could do.

Parenting Tips
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That Single Mother Victim Feeling

I was talking to a single mom friend of mine the other day and then I realized she was depressed. She told me the source of her depression was the fact that her partner had left her and was not paying child support. My real opinion though is that the source of her depression was really that she was putting herself in a victim role.
Depression and not standing up for you go hand in hand. Depressed people are often misunderstood because of this.
Depressed people are non assertive because they have a tendency to think badly of themselves. They are ready to blame themselves if something goes wrong.
They also have ea tendency to exaggerate problems. Everything is a catastrophic. They also take everything that happens personally.
They also believe that life is either one way or another. There is no gray area. They do not believe that they have chokes and that they are at the mercy of circumstances.
The bottom line is that if you think you are a victim you will be.
There are strategies for counteracting non assertive thoughts.
First of all you need to be familiarize yourself with what situations and individuals make you feel powerless
You also need to notice when you have a string of negative depressing thoughts. If you don't feel well, check your thinking. Retrace your thoughts and stop the parade of negative images that are dragging you down.
Remember to be firm and gentle with yourself. Practice that positive inner dialogue. Get rid of the inner critic and talk to yourself in compassionate kind tones.
If you are in the wrong about something make sure to own up and apologize. Do not mentally torture yourself for hours, days or a year. Offer to make things right.
If someone does give you a dirty look or makes a strange sound then just ask them directly 'Would care to share the reason for that?'
The same thing goes for someone who gives you a backhanded compliment. If someone says 'That color looks fantastic on you. You sure needed some color' ask for clarification. It makes the other person accountable for what you have just said.
You should also avoid making everything into a worst case scenario. Stop imagining the worst and you will naturally be more assertive.
You should also be careful of knee jerk reactions. These are thoughts that are automatic. Some of them are very negative and been with you for years.
Put your assertive foot down with others and they will see you as you should – as a good and worthy person. You are your own best friend and you are just as important as any other person on earth.
Once others see this then you are usually treated with more respect.

Parenting Tips
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