Why Newly Single Moms Should Not Isolate

If you break up, are single and feel overwhelmed you should get out of your rut and start dating. One of the benefits of dating is meeting new people. Even if you do not end up falling head over heels in love this is one way to start socializing with adults again.

Even if you date a few people and find out that he or she is not the one there are still all kinds of positive things that can come out of the experience.

Single moms often make the 'little people' in their life their whole world. This is not to imply that your children are not good company. It's just that some moms spend so much time talking to their infants only that they only talk in baby talk. Furthermore spending too much time with children only, as much as they love you, can result in a kind of a dumping down where your world becomes 'safe' yet full of references to things that relate to children only.

Dating can be a lot of fun. Not only can you discuss current events and adult topics but you can go to a fancy restaurant, see interesting movies, go to the beach and explore a hobby with someone special.

Many single parents are bitter because almost always they have been left holding the bag without enough support and also feeling like they can't trust anyone again.

When you get up the courage to date you are given a chance to rebuild the social network that you may have lost when you became newly single.

Yet another bonus to dating is that it teaches your kids to be independent and make new friends too. It is not healthy for you and your kids to 'live in your own little world' and not socialize after a break up because it becomes impossible to develop social skills.\

Meeting any new people under any circumstance is quite simply just good for you. The date does not have to lead to a relationship but it can lead to a new friendship. It can also help alleviate feelings of loneliness that you may have as the result of being left to raise kids alone.
Dating new people can also help you trust the opposite sex again, especially if your relationship did not go that well.

Of course if the date does work out over time you could end up developing sexual intimacy with the individual, which of course, is very healing.

It is also not a good idea to make the new relationship 'all about your kids.' Most people who would date a single mom already take this for granted so you do not have to stress it while you are actually flirting, dating or trying to create intimacy with someone new!

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Why Your Kid Puts Up With Bullying

While youth crime in general has been on the wane, the number of youth crimes involving violence has increased. In 1986 about 8.5 per cent of all youth crimes were classified as violent. By 1996 it was up to 18.5 per cent. Basically this means that your kid is quite vulnerable to being intimidated at school or on the playground or when you least expect it.

It’s during the younger teen years that kids are more likely to be bullied. One of the most common forms of violence is extortion. Victims are intimidated into giving up lunch money on a regular basis (sometimes called “taxing”) or handing over stuff that kids value like PSPs, clothing or shoes. The bully gets worse whenever there is a new fashion fad.

Terror prevents your kid from telling you what is going on. A child can spend all day being ignored by everyone she knows just because she dared to confront a bully. She also risks losing her stuff, being misunderstood by teachers when she is blamed for stuff she did not do and also very real physical violence.

Another reason for violence just seems to be gossip or rumors or territorial behavior. Usually this is of a social nature and has to do with budding romances. Your kid may not tell you what is going on simply because they would really rather that you do not know that they like some girl or boy at school. It is completely embarrassing for them to think that you would intervene in a romantic matter. They tend to get up in dramas that they think are none of your business.

Bullies do not like betrayal so one solution is to give your kid a code word to use if there happens to be a bully nearby. That way you can be warned of trouble and avoid a confusing situation. A code word helped my kid reveal who was bullying her on the school ground without actually having to 'tell me.' A teacher and I were able to deal with it immediately.

Some police departments and schools, particularly in larger cities, are taking youth violence and teenage gangs more seriously, but many victims are won't ask for help from, adults. Partly, they fear vindictiveness from the bullies. Many don't have sex that their parents will take them seriously. However adult intervention into these bullying situations is absolutely essential sometimes or else someone can get seriously hurt.

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