Should You Spy On Your Kid’s FB or Myspace Page

Should you look at your kids's facebook or myspace page? They say that ignorance is bliss. If you do peek you really might learn something about your child that you would rather not know.

Before you take a peek you better have a good reason for invading your child's privacy. Many psychologists feel that teens need their own space within which to learn about processing their feelings and act out their own little dramas. It is not always necessary for you to be involved in these matters. Allowing them to express their own conflicts is part of the maturation process.

Of course it is hard to think of yourself as 'snooping' when these pages are very private. The justification in a parent's head is 'Why shouldn't I look if everyone else is…?'

Think of it this way. Would you like it if your kids were looking at your page? Most psychologists don't recommend snooping. Nothing builds responsibility and accountability in a child more than being trusted to figure out things on one's own. Your child must know that it is okay to make a mistake or two.

Still the other side of the argument is that these sites are social networking sites for adults and kids just happen to be on them. That is why these sites pose so many risks for teenagers.

Keep in mind that there is a fine line between taking a peek at someone's site and spying. It also may be hard not to become obsessed by what you see on some of these sites. It is just the nature of 'the beast.'

However there are some times in life when it is okay to spy. For instance if you expect our child is engaged in dangerous behaviors or relationships and you are having difficulty asserting your rightful parental control. If you feel your child's welfare is in danger it is definitely time to take charge. This is true if you think your child is at all involved in drug abuse, an abusive relationship, self-mutilation, drugs, pornography or anything else. In that case make sure you snoop in your kid's room, backpack, cell phone records and internet profiles in an effort to help him or her!

If you just casually want to take a look at the page all you have o do is make an appointment with your child to look at it. This shows your child that you have some respect for him or her even though he or she might be very irritated that you had to ask at all!

Why Your Kid Puts Up With Bullying

While youth crime in general has been on the wane, the number of youth crimes involving violence has increased. In 1986 about 8.5 per cent of all youth crimes were classified as violent. By 1996 it was up to 18.5 per cent. Basically this means that your kid is quite vulnerable to being intimidated at school or on the playground or when you least expect it.

It’s during the younger teen years that kids are more likely to be bullied. One of the most common forms of violence is extortion. Victims are intimidated into giving up lunch money on a regular basis (sometimes called “taxing”) or handing over stuff that kids value like PSPs, clothing or shoes. The bully gets worse whenever there is a new fashion fad.

Terror prevents your kid from telling you what is going on. A child can spend all day being ignored by everyone she knows just because she dared to confront a bully. She also risks losing her stuff, being misunderstood by teachers when she is blamed for stuff she did not do and also very real physical violence.

Another reason for violence just seems to be gossip or rumors or territorial behavior. Usually this is of a social nature and has to do with budding romances. Your kid may not tell you what is going on simply because they would really rather that you do not know that they like some girl or boy at school. It is completely embarrassing for them to think that you would intervene in a romantic matter. They tend to get up in dramas that they think are none of your business.

Bullies do not like betrayal so one solution is to give your kid a code word to use if there happens to be a bully nearby. That way you can be warned of trouble and avoid a confusing situation. A code word helped my kid reveal who was bullying her on the school ground without actually having to 'tell me.' A teacher and I were able to deal with it immediately.

Some police departments and schools, particularly in larger cities, are taking youth violence and teenage gangs more seriously, but many victims are won't ask for help from, adults. Partly, they fear vindictiveness from the bullies. Many don't have sex that their parents will take them seriously. However adult intervention into these bullying situations is absolutely essential sometimes or else someone can get seriously hurt.