How Single Moms Sabotage Their Dating Potential

If you are a single and starting to date you might be facing a number of what can only be described as 'pitfalls' while you are trying to date. The good news is that many of these drawbacks can easily be overcome or even turned to your advantage just by changing your attitude and being more organized.

If you are a single parent and you have found yourself suddenly single, you might be delaying the whole thing. However there comes a time when you must abandon your fears and start participating in the sexy dance of life again. Stop wallowing in your isolation, put down the fattening midnight containers of ice cream and start making definitive proactive movements towards finding yourself a date.

A lot of single parents fear rejection, just as people without children do. They also fear rejection because they come 'with baggage.' The thing to do is to accept right now that some people are simply not going to want to be with you exactly because you do have kids and these are the people you need to 'get past' in order to find the person you really should be with.

Some people may delay dating simply because they think it will somehow upset the children. Usually this is more of a fear than a reality. You should never put off what you want to do with your life because of what a child thinks because that means the child is in control of your destiny –not you!

Many single parents have trouble making ends meet and taking care of their kids at the same time. Many work two jobs or go to school and work and simply do not have the time to go online actively looking for dates. If this is the case it is time to start looking like dating like it is a third part-time job and make time for it. Devote yourself to it by giving up something so that you are able to do this and move forward or unfortunately, you could remain single for the rest of your life.

Many single parents also experience financial problems. They feel they cannot afford the clothes, make-up or dinners that often go along with dating. This is where it might be wise to stop waiting for the day when you are rolling in money and accept that you need to find someone who will 1) like the way you look without make-up and 2) settle for a picnic in the park over a dinner in an expensive five star restaurant.

Yet another issue that this affects is whether or not you can hire child care. If you cant afford babysitters in can be hard to schedule dates. In fact hiring family members, such as your ex to look after your kids, is partly how clashes between him or her and someone you are dating are allowed to happen.

Why Newly Single Moms Should Not Isolate

If you break up, are single and feel overwhelmed you should get out of your rut and start dating. One of the benefits of dating is meeting new people. Even if you do not end up falling head over heels in love this is one way to start socializing with adults again.

Even if you date a few people and find out that he or she is not the one there are still all kinds of positive things that can come out of the experience.

Single moms often make the 'little people' in their life their whole world. This is not to imply that your children are not good company. It's just that some moms spend so much time talking to their infants only that they only talk in baby talk. Furthermore spending too much time with children only, as much as they love you, can result in a kind of a dumping down where your world becomes 'safe' yet full of references to things that relate to children only.

Dating can be a lot of fun. Not only can you discuss current events and adult topics but you can go to a fancy restaurant, see interesting movies, go to the beach and explore a hobby with someone special.

Many single parents are bitter because almost always they have been left holding the bag without enough support and also feeling like they can't trust anyone again.

When you get up the courage to date you are given a chance to rebuild the social network that you may have lost when you became newly single.

Yet another bonus to dating is that it teaches your kids to be independent and make new friends too. It is not healthy for you and your kids to 'live in your own little world' and not socialize after a break up because it becomes impossible to develop social skills.\

Meeting any new people under any circumstance is quite simply just good for you. The date does not have to lead to a relationship but it can lead to a new friendship. It can also help alleviate feelings of loneliness that you may have as the result of being left to raise kids alone.
Dating new people can also help you trust the opposite sex again, especially if your relationship did not go that well.

Of course if the date does work out over time you could end up developing sexual intimacy with the individual, which of course, is very healing.

It is also not a good idea to make the new relationship 'all about your kids.' Most people who would date a single mom already take this for granted so you do not have to stress it while you are actually flirting, dating or trying to create intimacy with someone new!