Why Your Second Child Acts A Little Wierd

When you gave birth to your first child you were all excited and exuberant. You probably did every little thing right. You probably took vitamins, went to Yoga and made sure that every single moment of that first born's first few moments were photographs.

Then came your second child. You forgot to avoid fat and caffeine. You gave birth to the kid but you are simply not as vigilant or as enthusiastic as you were with the first kid. Does this mean that there is something wrong with you?

The answer is no. There is even a name for this type of behavior. It is called Second Child Syndrome. The term was coined by a famous Austrian psychologist named Alfred Adler. He had a theory that children developed different character traits according to their birth order.

Normally the first child is new to you so you are naturally driven to applaud its every new moment. The first born is often the apple of the mother's eye. However when the second child comes many mothers have more of a 'been there, done that' type of attitude. The baby picks up on this and feels less recognized or appreciated then the first born. Soon he begins to develop resentful feelings for his sibling. In fact, treating the first born better than the second born, even on a subconscious level, can affect the second born's self-esteem and create feelings of sibling rivalry.

Another factor in this is looking after two kids at once. Ultimately one kid always gets ignored. Usually it is the younger one. This is usually because the older one has more confidence, is more demanding and usually gets his or her way.

This is why the second child acts a little weird. He or she can be a loner and not that great at cooperating with others. They tend to get in more trouble and get really upset if you compare them to the older child. The second child will build walls around him or herself and develop a negative attitude. They can be angry, sullen and sarcastic. Many of them have problems performing because they feel they are under too much pressure and cannot possibly live up to the image of the first born (who from his or her point of view, you love much better!)

For all of these reasons it does not hurt to give the middle child a little more attention every now and then. Just even an extra hour or two spent with him or her can make a big difference and help prevent your little one from developing huge emotional and personality dysfunctions in the future.

How to Interview a Babysitter

Once you have found a babysitter it is a good idea to ask them over so you and your kids can meet him or her.

The first thing you should note is whether or not he or she is on time. This is an indicator of future reliability.

When the babysitter shows up you should note how he or she is dressed. Look for someone who is well-groomed and in child-friendly wear. For instance, a young woman with long fake nails that look like talons may not be as interested in child care as she claims.

You should also have a piece of paper ready with the following information to be filled out on it.

Name ______________________________

Address ______________________________

Phone ______________________________
Cell ______________________________
Reference 1 ______________________________
Reference 2 ______________________________

You can make up this short form on your computer and print it out or you can simply write it with pen and paper.

Some neighborhood babysitters may not be used to being asked for a reference particularly if they are younger. That is okay. It is just fine to simply ask who he or she has babysat with before.

Questions that you might want to ask your babysitter are –
How long have you been a babysitter?
How many other families do you babysit for?
How old are the other children you care for?
Are you still in school?
What will you do when I am not here?
Do you mind feeding my kids?
Are you able to help my kids with their homework?
What do you like to do with your free time?
What television shows do you enjoy watching/
Will you need to use my computer when I am not here?
Do you intend to have visitors here when I am not home and if so who?
What is the very worst thing that happened to you as a babysitter so far and how did you handle it?
If my child had an accident, what would be the first thing that you would do?
If you are going to be late or have to cancel the job, how will you let me know?
How much do you expect to be paid an hour?
How do you want to be paid – in cash or by check?
Most of these questions are quite 'leading' in nature and can help you tell quite a bit about the candidate's character and tendencies.
Finally the best babysitter is the one that seems like he or she wants to interview you. If the babysitter is armed with a list of questions about your children, their food preferences, what time they go to sleep and other matters then you have found a good candidate.