How to Make Your Child Happy

If you want to raise the happiest child ever there are some things that you can say that can make them feel glad. In fact they will remember these kind words forever. In essence, anything that an adult tells a kid can affect him or her forever.

You want to raise your kids to be self-confident, responsible and caring. However you need to think twice before criticizing anyone, but especially children. If you put things the wrong way you will put things in his or her mind that has them develop rebellious attitudes.

If a child asks you why something is so, one of the worst things you can do is say 'because I say so.' Do not answer 'Because I am the dad/mom and not you.' This tells the kid that his curiosity or feelings don't matter. This creates a secretive kid that does not trust authority and that does not tell you anything. Nobody likes to be patronized in this way and it turns your kid into a rebel. They will be silently plotting their separation from you because they will see you as uncaring and controlling.

One of the worst things you can do is act like you are too busy to pay attention to what the kid are trying to communicate. This makes a kid feel unworthy. You need to reassure the kid that you will have time later if you cannot address their issues in the moment. The happiest kids are the ones that always know that their family is always going to be there no matter what.

You should also not criticize a kid if they do not do something well. Not every kid is good at sports or can play the piano. You need to focus on what the kid can do rather than what they can't do. This is because the kid things that you are only focusing on his or her incapabilities and nothing else. You need to focus on the kid's successes and constantly point them out.

Making your kid happy is all about making his or her self-image blossom. Every single time they leave, kiss him or her goodbye and every time they return welcome them home with joy and genuine acceptance.

Remember that kids develop their entire psychology based on their momentary emotions. They are profoundly affected by the things that happen to them and their reactions to what you say to them!

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Controlling Parents

Although discipline is important it is probably not a great idea to be a controlling parent. Being controlling can suppress the growth of your child's personality. You end up with an immature kid who does not know the difference between right and wrong. He or she may never learn to make decisions or support him or herself. They could live very late into life depending on only you.

There is a fine line between caring and being smothering. The effects of controlling parents can be very unhealthy. The child will never be able to assert his or independence. The parent makes all the decisions and the child never learns how to take responsibility for any of his actions. As the kid grows into adult the distress at leaving you or feeling out of control can turn the kid into an alcoholic or addict. They will bait other people so they can be parented or control. It will be very difficult for them to maintain a happy relationship.

Controlling parents never let a child speak. They discourage argument and even basic speech. They never ever listen to the child's point of view. The child may also not be allowed to make any decisions and if the child does have an opinion it is belittled and criticized. This can severely damage a kid's self esteem. The child will be afraid to approach job interviews, lovers or anything else in life worth having with any sort of confidence.
The controlling parent expects perfection from the child. The child is watched like a hawk and immediately criticized and chastised if they do not live up to some unreal expectations… Controlling parents scrutinize every action of the child. This type of parent might always be asking others where he or she might be.

Another hallmark of a controlling parent is never ever allowing the child to say no. When the child grows older he or she may not be able to develop 'wings to fly.' They may be discouraged from leaving home and never develop their own fully fledged personality or identity.

If a parent is controlling it is usually the result of having a bad childhood themselves. The cycle will just repeat itself again and again throughout generations if it is not corrected. With greater study into human behavior, more and more parents are being recognized as more controlling than caring for their children. If you think you are being too hard on your kid or kids you should try and get some counseling to try and figure out why you think this should be the case.

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