What Not to Name the Baby Part IV!

Some people don't realize that when they are naming their kid they are sometimes naming him or her after a celebrity or even the top name for a pet currently. Here is the conclusion to my four part blog series on what it means to call a kid a name!

Madonna – This name belongs to such a superstar that it will be ridiculously hard for your child to attach this name to her own identity. It is a name that has basically been branded.
Maggie – It's a lovely name but it is the top name chosen by dog owners for their female pets in 2011.
Olivia – This is a hip retro name that actually means 'an army of elves.'
Oprah – Oprah is a noble woman to name a child after but whenever we hear this name we do not think of anyone else. This name might play havoc with your child's sense of identity.
Paris – Paris Hilton is a bright woman but her bimbo antics have made this more of a shallow name than it need be.
Portia – This is one of those Shakespearean names that sound very intellectual but its real meaning is 'little pig.'
Rasputin – This fine Old Russian boy's name is also the name of a Russian sorcerer who helped lead the last dynasty of Russian royalty to slaughter.
Regan – Once a beautiful name for a girl it is hard not to reference it to the possessed little girl in the movie 'The Exorcist.'
River – A beautiful name that is still associated quite a bit with River Phoenix who died of a heroin overdose outside Johnny Depp's Viper Club in the early nineties.
Ronald – This is a name that was once classic and that seems to have been taken over by McDonald's. It is hard not to think of 'Ronald' without thinking about Ronald McDonald. This is a name destroyed by corporate theft!
Sabrina – Both the television series Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Bewitched had witches named Sabrina on them that make it hard for people to take this name seriously.
Samara – Once a beautiful name for a girl it is now associated with the evil little girl ghost in the horror movie 'The Ring' (the one that climbs out of the well and kills people.)
Seth – This just seems to be a name associated with evil. It is used by a lot of followers of Satan.
Shakira – Your child will never be seen as herself as the name belongs to such a superstar singer.
Tabitha – Very few people think of this name without thinking of the baby witch from Bewitched.
Vlad – This majestic name is a bit too much like Vlad the Impaler who was also known as Count Dracula.

Hopefully you will refer to this list before you decide to name your child something too familiar from pop culture!

What NOT to Name Your Baby Part II

There are a lot of questionable monikers out there when it comes to giving your baby girl or boy a name. Here is a continuation of some of the questionable names for children that I was making last week.

Please don't name your child –

Dick – This name is short for Richard but it has a fairly well-known connation referring to a certain part of the male anatomy and it can also mean that someone is being 'stupid.' It also reminds people of Dick Cheney who is not the most popular man in the world. Best to avoid Dick if you can.
Dexter – Dexter has been a popular name for little boys but it is also associated with the serial killer on the popular show of the same name. Yet another problem is that Dexter is also the name of a popular great Dane that is a cartoon.
Dracula – If you name your kid Dracula, he will be tortured mercilessly all of his child hood life.
Drusilla – This is a name that is a bit campy from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Edith – Often associated with the shrill flaky character of Edith Bunker from All in The Family.
Elvira – This name is associated with sexy vampires and is a bit corny to be using nowadays.
Emily – This is a beautiful classic name, but it actually means 'rival.'
Endora – The name is indelibly associated with the mother witch on the television series 'Bewitched.'
Ethel – Often associated with unattractive Big Ethel from the Archie comic strip.
Erzesbet – This is the name of Erzsebet Bothory who was a famous serial killer of women in Europe. She is also known as The Blood Countess.
Garth – Once a classic name it is now associated with the goofy character in Wayne's World.
George – Both George W. Bush and George Bush have made this name seem kind of uptight and unpopular.
Gilligan – This is a name that used to be classic but is now associated with the dopy character on Gilligan's Island. It implies clumsiness and stupidity.
Gomez – Once a classic Spanish name it is now very much associated with the Father character on the Addams Family.
Hannibal – The movie Silence of the Lambs ruined this traditional name for many. It conjures up the memory of a serial killer eating brains with fava beans and a fine chianti.
Hecate – This is a beautiful name but it does mean Queen of the Witches.
Hershey – It is probably not a good idea to name your child after a brand name like a chocolate bar.
Herman – Once a dignified English name it is now associated with The Munsters and The Monster Mash.
Hilda – There are a lot of witches in literature and on television that have been named Hilda and almost all have a great big wart on their nose.

The problem is that names that sound trendy often turn into references from television. This is not the way to go if you want your kid to be taken seriously in life!