Post Partum and Obsessive Thoughts

Have you been diagnosed with post partum depression? If so you might have yourself dealing with obsessive thoughts.
Sometimes these thoughts are fears that your baby will become sick and die. Other times you get a fear that you might hurt the baby. Many new mothers feel like they are going crazy.
Here are some tips for dealing with those types of thoughts –
First of deal with the thought, don't dwell. If it is a realistic fear then just don't sit there. Do something about it.
If the thought comes as the result of a day dream then pay attention to what the dream represents. For instance if you are dreaming about crashing in a car then maybe the theme is control. It is time to examine that thing in your life that you feel you are losing control over.
Stopping your thought does not work of obsessive thinkers. In fact the more you fight the thought, the more likely it is to take over.
Cognitive behaviorists have a solution to this. First of all you need to notice and accept the thought. Then call upon your relaxations response and attempt to relax your body from head to toe.
Thirdly you will need to breathe. Inhale for two seconds and then exhale for four.
Fourthly soothe your mind with three or four calm sentences. The less attention you give a bad thought the sooner it leaves.
You might also want to try thought blocking. Write the obsessive thought down again and again until you become desensitized to it. Write until your hand hurts and you cannot write anymore.
Remember that we are not our thoughts.
We are our actions.
The bottom line is that your thoughts do not represent who you are. What you think about is not a critical s what you tell yourself about what you think.
Fear is ne of the most powerful of emotions. It I normally protect us from harm. It is a gift. Without fear and the brain chemicals that go with it we would not be able to keep ourselves safe from anger.
One way to keep obsessive thinkers in balance is to use humor. Humor is the counterpoint of fear and also creates powerful 'feel good' chemicals in the brain.
Unfortunately many people who suffer from depression lose their sense of humor.
To try and combat this assigns one whole section of your journal to obsessive thoughts. Write out the thought.
An example would be 'What if I drop the baby?'
Counter this thought with a positive one such as 'I am in control.' And 'Caring for my Childs automatic.'
You would then question why you are feeling a certain way and identify it. 'What is really bothering me?
What happened to trigger this?
Your next step is to make a plan to solve this problem. Write outdo plan of action. Try using a relaxation tape every day for two weeks.
You may have noticed that you need to be very patient in order to reformat your thinking in these ways. However it works to cure anxiety once and for all so stick with this program.

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That Single Mother Victim Feeling

I was talking to a single mom friend of mine the other day and then I realized she was depressed. She told me the source of her depression was the fact that her partner had left her and was not paying child support. My real opinion though is that the source of her depression was really that she was putting herself in a victim role.
Depression and not standing up for you go hand in hand. Depressed people are often misunderstood because of this.
Depressed people are non assertive because they have a tendency to think badly of themselves. They are ready to blame themselves if something goes wrong.
They also have ea tendency to exaggerate problems. Everything is a catastrophic. They also take everything that happens personally.
They also believe that life is either one way or another. There is no gray area. They do not believe that they have chokes and that they are at the mercy of circumstances.
The bottom line is that if you think you are a victim you will be.
There are strategies for counteracting non assertive thoughts.
First of all you need to be familiarize yourself with what situations and individuals make you feel powerless
You also need to notice when you have a string of negative depressing thoughts. If you don't feel well, check your thinking. Retrace your thoughts and stop the parade of negative images that are dragging you down.
Remember to be firm and gentle with yourself. Practice that positive inner dialogue. Get rid of the inner critic and talk to yourself in compassionate kind tones.
If you are in the wrong about something make sure to own up and apologize. Do not mentally torture yourself for hours, days or a year. Offer to make things right.
If someone does give you a dirty look or makes a strange sound then just ask them directly 'Would care to share the reason for that?'
The same thing goes for someone who gives you a backhanded compliment. If someone says 'That color looks fantastic on you. You sure needed some color' ask for clarification. It makes the other person accountable for what you have just said.
You should also avoid making everything into a worst case scenario. Stop imagining the worst and you will naturally be more assertive.
You should also be careful of knee jerk reactions. These are thoughts that are automatic. Some of them are very negative and been with you for years.
Put your assertive foot down with others and they will see you as you should – as a good and worthy person. You are your own best friend and you are just as important as any other person on earth.
Once others see this then you are usually treated with more respect.

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