The First Date for A Single Mom

It is best to organize a date with someone once you feel confident in your own skin and also confident in the boundaries that you have set with the father or mother of your child (if he or she is still alive.)

If someone feels right and meets your criteria then it is okay for either sex to organize the first date. Trust your intuition and move forward if someone feels right and if you feel like you have choices and are in control.

Although it seems cheap and easy to entertain someone in your home the best thing you can do is agree to meet away from home.

The first reason for doing this has to do with your own safety. This is especially true if it is a blind date or you have met the person online. Meet in a well-lit public place, preferably a restaurant, use your own transport to and from the venue and tell at least one person where you are; agree to call them when your date is finished as a safety measure.

You can meet day or night; just make sure that you have a 'way out' as long if the date does not work out for some reason. More people who are compatible online become quite disappointed with each other once they meet online.
Secondly, you want to put your kid's feelings before your own. It is traumatic for children to see adults wandering and out of their lives especially after a divorce or a death.

It is better to slowly immerse your date into your children's lives once you have his or her word that they are going to stick by you and disappoint by taking off, being unfaithful or changing their minds.

As boring as it sounds you should not have sex on the first date, no matter how much Spring Fever is a factor!It sounds prudish but it is a good policy. The problem with sex is that it colors our judgment of someone. If the sex is good it becomes hard to judge the person effectively. Many of us will sacrifice everything to be with the person we love, and unfortunately that sometimes means that we are tempted to sacrifice the best interests of our children.

How long should you wait? Depending on the dating expert you should wait anywhere from three to twelve dates before even considering getting intimate with someone you are expecting to spend the rest of your life with.

How Single Moms Can Assess A Date

If you are a parent then you are assessing your date for his long term potential as a mate. It is all too easy early in the game to meet someone online or offline and then give into wishful thinking about suitability for a parent.

Maturity matters because the last thing you need to do is look after another kid. What you are looking for is someone who is going to help you, not be a burden to you for any reason.

People make excuses for people they are attracted to all for the time. Women especially excuse potential dates for immature or downright dishonest behavior because they are tired, newly divorced, under too much stress or simply tired of looking for a mate. Many people settle for less because they don't have the faith that they can find someone better.
The early warning signs that someone is going to be irresponsible are always there. They include –
• Unpredictability
• Unreliability
• Saying they will be in one place and then you find out they are in another
• Standing you up
• Lying about the past
• Lying about the present
• Throwing a tantrum when they do not get their way
• Blaming any flaws in your young relationship on you
• Lack of commitment or being able to talk about it.
• Ogling other people when with you
• Only being interested in sex
• Does not return calls
• An inability to communicate
• Talking constantly about the past or an ex
• Seems secretive
Women in particular should watch out for men who never call them. Let the male call you as that means he is interested and going to some effort to be with you.

If you are talking to the potential date online through chat or email signs that he or she might be a good mate are ..
• Prompt responses to emails or ims
• Spells wells
• Has a sense of humor
• Never belittles you or a member of the opposite sex (note that this applies to both men and women and the word misogynist applies to both sexes)
• The profile picture does not look fake or doctored
• Answers all of your questions
• Does not create confusion or mysteries on purpose
• Does not appear to be drunk or upset when they talk to you

It is also a good idea to date a person that you feel is right for you and your kids on multiple levels and not because he or she has one thing – the right chemistry or is filthy rich for example.