Is Your Kid Profiled As Stupid?

When my son Theo was fifteen thought college was just not going to be possible for my boy.
It seemed that everybody thought my child was stupid. But I knew way better.
In fact I think my kid is a genius. He is a slow reader but he mastered a super sophisticated animation program all by himself at age ten and makes his own anime cartoons.
I also happen to know that he has superb a photographic and oral memory and can recite entire episodes of various television series off by heart.
How could a kid as bright and sharp as that be labelled as below average!
He is also one of the wittiest and funniest people I know and his observations about the foibles of the world make him the friend of almost everyone he meets.
So how can a kid who can draw, remember and communicate so well be considered stupid by teachers and other academic professionals?
He could take an IQ test and score less than 100 points. That's how!
The profiling of children that is part of today's educational and college admission systems is broken down into the following values –
Here is how the IQ profiling structure works.
130+ Very superior
120-129 Superior
110-119 High average
90-109 Average
80-89 Low average
70-79 Borderline
Below 70 Extremely low!
The numbers above are the 'cut and dry' numbers that are used to measure intelligence and that also can dictate your child's future. However these numbers are far from being the ideal measurement of what your child is truly capable of accomplishing in life.
I learned that my boy, who is artistic, creative and a visual learner probably had no chance of passing the IQ test that was administered to all high school students.
This is because most of the intelligence quotient tests administered today are actually literacy tests and not real measures of how smart or stupid a person actually is…
Yet another problem is that these IQ tests are based on cultural references and if your child does not live up to the middle class white bread standard of what passes for 'fitting in' in this society then he or she will be stereotyped as stupid for the rest of his or her life.
The bottom line – if your child does not do well on an IQ test it does not mean your child is stupid. It means the he or she is nervous and a poor performer in testing situations
In order to try and turn the Titanic that seemed to be my eccentric but talented son's brains around I spent all of my time researching all of the things that I could possibly do in this world to increase my kid's chances of passing that IQ test with flying colors.
I researched everything from diet to what games were good for him to play to how much television he should watch a week.
I made the evolution of my son's literacy my business so that he could pass that IQ test .no matter how much I disagreed with it. I simply had no choice.

Parenting Tips
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If You Have Lost A Child

If you have lost a child there are several books that you can buy that can help you navigate the grieving process. Losing a child is one of the most difficult experiences that any human being will ever face so you need all the support you can get in order to not be overwhelmed by the pain.
One good book is 'Don' t Take My Grief Away' by Doug Manning. This understanding author talks about how letting go of grief, anger and resentment makes us feel like we are letting go of the child. This book also reinforces the idea that we all need to recover from these experiences in our own time and that they cannot be forced.
If you feel that you are somehow responsible for the child's death as would be the case if there was some kind of home accident then you need a book that tells you how to deal with grief that is mixed with guilt. A good self help book for this matter is 'Forgiving God' by Carla Killough McClafferty. This is by a woman who has been there and it is extremely cathartic and comforting for those who need an emotional release.
Another great book is 'Gone But Not Lost' by David W. Weirsbe. This book teaches you to be patient with your spouse. Many marriages split up after the death of a child and it is just not necessary if the two of you can understand that you may be grieving for the loss in different ways and at different rates.
A similar book is called 'Five Cries of Grief' by Merton P. Strommen. It is the journal of both a father and a mother writing about the loss of their son. It reveals the difference between how men and women deal with loss psychologically.
Another sweet and comforting book on the topic is 'Roses In Heaven.' This is by a mother who has lost three children named Marilyn Willett Heavilin. Whether your child was an infant, a stillborn, or an adult at the time of death, this book will help you manage with your loss. Roses in December investigate your emotions and assist the reader in dealing with anger, sadness, depression, and other aspects of grief. This is a must read book for anyone who has ever lost a child, or knows someone who has.
These are also good books to give anyone who has lost a child and who you perceive is having a very hard time. It is better than giving them a pep talk as most bereaved parents feel hurt because it seems that you do not understand their sadness. Giving the person a blank journal into which to write down their thoughts is also a very good idea. In fact writing in journal every day is what most of the authors mentioned in this blog suggest as an outlet for expressing grief.

Parenting Tips
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