Children diagnosed with ADD

Children who have been diagnosed with ADD can be disruptive to say the least. Parents are often tempted to use corporal punishment because they feel that nothing less will get a child’s attention. Parents will try everything from emotional black mail to ignoring the problem to care taking in order to try and manage the situation. I know from experience with my nine year old that nothing seems to work.

Unfortunately, individuals with ADD do not respond well to any kind of punishment, whether it is corporeal or emotional. In the case of children, attempting to discipline them with violent acts only teaches them that violence is the best way to resolve conflicts. You cannot teach an individual with ADD to be accountable for their actions. All you can really do is minimize the heart-rending guilt that they feel when they do commit a misdeed.

Many parents of ADHD children are still waiting for their child’s case of the “terrible twos” to be over even after the child has reached adolescence. These impulsive and hyperactive children are often unable to “look before they leap” and cause serious safety threats to the entire family. As children with ADHD are also usually very creative and intelligent, it is difficult to quell their curiosity. They are always getting into medicine cabinets, trying to cook supper on their own and seeing how high they can climb up a tree. To make things worse some ADHD children have perceptual, coordination and balance disorders that affects their judgment when it comes to determining whether or not they are about to put themselves in a precarious position. This also leads to a lot of spills, breakage and loss of valuable property. I should know my nine-year is like a bull in China shop.

Individuals with ADD or ADHD can also cause serious emotional rifts between yourself and other members of your family. For instance, siblings of a child with ADD can act up because they feel they deserve the same kind of attention and focus that is given to the child who is misbehaving all the time. They may also resent the child and shun them from their social circle because they are embarrassed by his or her behavior. Physical and emotional injuries are frequent as conflicts break out between frustrated siblings and baffled sufferers of ADD. My older children are furious I spend so much time withy troubled nine year old.

Parents and spouses of ADD afflicted individuals may also find themselves taking a lot of heat for the behavior of there loved ones. Parents may be admonished by grand parents and friends and advised to discipline the child more often. Some parents may suffer from low self-esteem as the result of repeated accusations of not knowing how to raise a child. Some ADD children scream and act out so much that the neighbors and teachers suspect the parents of abuse. Teachers may also suspect a negligent or abusive family life is behind the child’s disturbed behavior. As the parent of one of these possibly ADD kids I can tell you that this is definitely not the case. I am a good mother. Still it can be hard to tell others why your kid acts up so much.

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Do You Think Your Kid Has ADD

If you suspect that a child, or a friend's kid may be suffering from ADD it might be because you are exasperated by his or her behavior.

For instance, your child who you know is quite intelligent might keep coming home with failing grades even though he thoroughly passed a home oral examination with flying colors the night before.

Adults can get I too. Your spouse may repeatedly bouncing checks or forgetting to pay bills even after you have resorted to leaving reminders printed in bold letters taped to the refrigerator. You might be concerned about a friend, who keeps storing her purse in the refrigerator and the milk in the medicine cabinet.

Another common scenario is the co-worker who starts several projects and never finishes them, leaving you to pick up the pieces. In order to cope with the person with ADD, you may have become a codependent or a caretaker who lives in a state of perpetual resentment. This is because you always have to clean up, cover up or fix the perpetrator’s mistakes. This resentment is also always accompanied by a feeling of guilt, as you may feel so baffled, frustrated and weary of your loved one’s antics that homicide is becoming one of your favorite fantasies. It is hard to think about killing your kid every day but that is how frustrating a child with ADD can be.

As the nature of ADD is essentially cunning baffling and confusing, the first thing you need to do is realize that you are feeling the resonance of this disease. You are in the same pickle that partners of alcoholics or manic-depressives are as you can’t help but react to mysterious and hurtful behaviors that seem to be “on-purpose.” If you are trying to cope with ADD by mirroring the sufferer’s own behavior back to them – stop. An individual with ADD almost never learns by example. Put your energy into understanding the disease and learning not to take it personally. The most important thing you can tell yourself is “This is not about me.”

As with most behavioral or psychological disorders, the symptoms of ADD are engaged according to the degree of severity. Everybody at one time or another displays at least one of the major traits of an ADD sufferer. We all get distracted, impulsive and restless. The difference between a so-called normal individual and an ADD sufferer is the frequency, duration and length of these symptoms.

I think my nine year old has ADD but I am sure he thinks I have it too. If you have a kid that doesn't seem like he or she is listening to you then before you jump to conclusion figure out if he or she is just mirroring you. How often are you listening to your kid? It may not be ADD at all but just a reflection back of what your child has learned from you.

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