The Effects of ADD on the Family

Children who have been diagnosed with ADD can be disruptive to say the least. Parents are often tempted to use corporal punishment because they feel that nothing less will get a child’s attention. Parents will try everything from emotional black mail to ignoring the problem to care taking in order to try and manage the situation. I know from experience with my nine year old that nothing seems to work.

Unfortunately, individuals with ADD do not respond well to any kind of punishment, whether it is corporeal or emotional. In the case of children, attempting to discipline them with violent acts only teaches them that violence is the best way to resolve conflicts. You cannot teach an individual with ADD to be accountable for their actions. All you can really do is minimize the heart-rending guilt that they feel when they do commit a misdeed.

Many parents of ADHD children are still waiting for their child’s case of the “terrible twos” to be over even after the child has reached adolescence. These impulsive and hyperactive children are often unable to “look before they leap” and cause serious safety threats to the entire family. As children with ADHD are also usually very creative and intelligent, it is difficult to quell their curiosity. They are always getting into medicine cabinets, trying to cook supper on their own and seeing how high they can climb up a tree. To make things worse some ADHD children have perceptual, coordination and balance disorders that affects their judgment when it comes to determining whether or not they are about to put themselves in a precarious position. This also leads to a lot of spills, breakage and loss of valuable property. I should know my nine-year is like a bull in China shop.

Individuals with ADD or ADHD can also cause serious emotional rifts between yourself and other members of your family. For instance, siblings of a child with ADD can act up because they feel they deserve the same kind of attention and focus that is given to the child who is misbehaving all the time. They may also resent the child and shun them from their social circle because they are embarrassed by his or her behavior. Physical and emotional injuries are frequent as conflicts break out between frustrated siblings and baffled sufferers of ADD. My older children are furious I spend so much time withy troubled nine year old.

Parents and spouses of ADD afflicted individuals may also find themselves taking a lot of heat for the behavior of there loved ones. Parents may be admonished by grand parents and friends and advised to discipline the child more often. Some parents may suffer from low self-esteem as the result of repeated accusations of not knowing how to raise a child. Some ADD children scream and act out so much that the neighbors and teachers suspect the parents of abuse. Teachers may also suspect a negligent or abusive family life is behind the child’s disturbed behavior. As the parent of one of these possibly ADD kids I can tell you that this is definitely not the case. I am a good mother. Still it can be hard to tell others why your kid acts up so much.

What is Feng Shui?

I have been very interested in exploring the topic of Feng Shui as it helps organize our lives as well invite good energy and positive vibes in general.  Even better it can help you make more money.  Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese art of object placement.

It is not a Japanese practice as some people think but it was adopted by Shinto monks thousands of years ago as it was based on the very sensible notion that that living with rather than against nature benefits both humans and the environment. It is all about how to create good energy (also called Chi in China and Ki in Japan) in your life so that you can manifest positive things into your immediate sphere.

 The art and science of Feng Shui also recognizes that our lives are deeply affected by our physical and emotional environments. If we surround ourselves with symbols of negation, contempt and indifference toward life and nature and choose to live in places that are actually repugnant to the human soul than we will attract misfortune.   Hard edges, uncomfortable furniture and clutter create what is called “sha” or “shar” which are the Chinese and Japanese words for “bad energy.”  

However if we trade in noise, concrete, mess and other agitating elements for organization, cleanliness and objects that are an expression of the sweeter things in life such as art, beauty and order, then we will ennoble our souls as well as our environment. 

Objects that symbolize good Feng Shui in Japan include wind chimes, fountains, Koi fish, statues of the Buddha, statues of lucky animals such as cranes and frogs, boulders, bamboo and teapots. The theory is that the kind of energy that we surround ourselves with creates more of the same energy. If we have negative qualities in our homes can become a breeding ground for such woes as cash flow problems and relationship troubles. The theory behind Feng Shui is that some of these problems can be remedied simply by organizing your space so that Chi (good energy) is allowed to freely flow through your life.  T

he literal translation of the Chinese word Feng Shui (pronounced fung-shway) means wind and water.  The combination of these two elements creates good “chi.” In Chinese culture, gentle wind and smooth water have always been associated with a good harvest and good health, while harsh winds and stagnant water have been linked to famine and disease. Therefore, “good” feng-shui has come to mean good livelihood and fortune, and “bad” feng-shui has come to mean hardship and bad luck.  The less clutter and mess you have in your house the healthier it will be because the energy will be much less stagnant. You might be interested to know that the main sector in your home that affects your kids is called the Eastern sector. This includes the Eastern walls and areas in all the rooms of your home. I plan to research this and write more about it in a future blog.