If Your Kid Feels Too Self-Conscious

When your kid approaches puberty it is not unusual for him or her to feel very self-conscious. They sometimes become very concerned and unhappy about their appearance. Your daughter may spend a lot of time looking at herself in the mirror. Your son may be flexing his muscles to see how manly and strong he can be.

You can tell your kids that looks don't matter but that is not going to impress them because they are heavily influenced by the people they see in movies, on television and in magazines. Early adolescence is a time of rapid growth and awkwardness and it is unfair how some children compare themselves to their idols. They don't know that chubbiness and acne is common with adolescents. They just see overweight people as being dirty and unlovable.

Girls as young as six years old can fret about their figures. But typically they begin to worry about their weight between the ages of nine and eleven. I am always astounded by how many teenager I know that think they are too fat!

Some children are born small and others are born naturally large. Large kids do not necessarily eat more than their smaller counterparts. There’s increasing evidence that a certain weight that is genetically determined. Like hair color and height, size is part of our inheritance.

An obese child is obvious. If you are worried that your child is too fat then take him or her to the doctor. Being too skinny has health risks too as it can indicate bulimia or anorexia (especially in a girl.)

One of the worst things you can do is put your kid on a diet. Dieting is only going to reinforce the idea that we judge people on how they look. Putting a child on a diet can also set him or her up for failure. It is not unusual for the dieting teen to start sneaking food because they feel hungry and ashamed of cravings.

If your kid is too fat then you should put him or her on an exercise regimen. Prescribe exercises that makes the heart beat faster but not to the point that the person is huffing and puffing. Your child can reap the most benefit from aerobic exercise, maintain the activity for at least twenty continuous minutes. It’s best not to single out your overweight child by insisting, “You need to exercise.” Chances are that your whole family needs to exercise so make it a family excursion.

Signs Your Teen Is Bullied

Here are some signs that your kid might be the victim of a bully but unable to tell you about it!

· Some of your teen’s belongings, such as a ipod or a bike, are suddenly missing.
· You notice minor injuries such as a bruise on the arm but your kid just shrugs it off
· Your child starts skipping school or saying he or she is sick
· You kid is getting lower marks
· You notice your child is crying all the time
· Your child doesn’t eat, isn’t talking and generally withdraws
· Your child lacks friends or appears to have friends you’ve never met
· Your child takes out anger on younger children in your family

If you spot any of these warning signs there is a number of things that you can do. You can ask your teenager if there is a problem. Usually you will get a denial but if you keep pressing you will probably get answers.

Explain to your teenager that saying nothing is the worst approach, because intimidation and violence typically escalate, beginning as verbal threats and building to physical abuse. If a teen doesn’t ask for help, the situation will only get worse.

Assure your daughter that you won’t get angry if she tells you what’s happening to her and tell her you’re concerned for her safety. Make sure to keep your promise as often parents hear things they find quite objectionable.

Here are some steps in handling the problem.

· Ask your daughter who she would be most comfortable seeking help from at school. It’s usually best to start with a teacher she knows; that teacher will probably involve a vice-principal or the principal.
· Make sure the school staff support your kid and aren't actually siding with the bully somehow
· Find out from other parents if their kids are having trouble with the same bully. If so, you can go as a group to the school administration.
· Ask the principal what steps he will take and check back later to make sure he has followed through.
· In extreme cases where you kid has been battered or even stolen from, you may want to work with the school to bring in the police and lay charges.

Kids are particularly in danger of becoming the targets of bullies if they’re unhappy and have low self-esteem. Spending time with your teens and encouraging them to get involved in activities they’re good at and helps boost their self-confidence so they are not targets.