The Pampered Child Syndrome

Lately, I have become quite interested in this book by Dr. Maggie Mamen called The Pampered Child Syndrome which is all about that one kid that takes over your entire family's priority. In fact these kids can take over everything including family harmony, financial considerations, respect for others and even common sense. In fact the other day I was in a restaurant just because of such a brat. I was just sitting down to a wonderful meal with my friend, who was a new mother in forties when suddenly her darling new child started bawling. She looked at me, and said, 'I'm sorry. We can't have this dinner. Little Delilah June wants to go!' The other lady I was with looked at her in shock and said, 'But we just got here…the child does not control how long we stay here for dinner.' The mother, a slightly insecure hysterical type kept talking about how we all had to do what Delilah wanted or Delilah would hate her. She had no idea that she should control the situation and seemed afraid of losing the approval of a two year old child.

This type of syndrome where innocent little kids push you around and cause havoc in everyone's lives is called Pampered Child syndrome. Don't think this can't be a problem because this same woman let her child take control of her entire social life for the next few years to the extent that she never got to date anyone and she lost all of her friends because she could never leave the kid with a babysitter. At age five little Delilah June was still nursing because even though she had sharp teeth, her mother did not have a strong enough will to tell her that it was time to stop.

If you do have this type of problem or know someone then Dr. Maggie Manen's The Pampered Child Syndrome: How to Recognize It and How to Avoid It might help. She has also written other books about boundaries, tough love about raising kids including Who's In Charge?, Laughter and Love and Limits.

It's a good thing to take away power from a little kid who has too much power. For one thing, children know it is wrong for them to have authority and power that they are ill equipped to handle. As they grow older they become control freaks and develop serious social and psychological difficulties.

Parenting Tips
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High Fashion Tots for Winter

Flipping through a few magazines I was really surprised to see what some of the trends were in kid's fashion for this weekend. For one thing some of the styles are quite grown up. Your kid is supposed to be in clothes that are as tailored as yours.

For example designer Philip Lim showed a collection that was all mustards, burnt oranges, and bone and tan colors. Kids were outfitted in little riding pants, cropped fifties style jackets and trenchcoats. Big bulky suede boots in milk chocolate brown complete the ensemble. This is a wonderful look if your kid likes to ride horses! I would probably only dress up my kids like this if I had to take them to wedding or a funeral. These are not every day looks even though celebrity moms insist they are.

Another interesting trend is the footwear for kids. There are a lot of gold and silver shoes on the market to buy for kids. The only problem with this idea is that once again, they are not really for every day wear unless your little girl is very neat.

Another trend is to make your kid look like a bit of a flower child. This is a much happier and more comfortable look especially for teenagers.

Everything that is tie-die is in including tie-dyed T-shirts and leggings. This is paired with long johns and shirts with tiny Victorian floral prints like violets or roses. Many girls are wearing short wool skirts or jean cut offs over this get up.

Straw hats worn with vintage sweaters with pictures of reindeer on them are also popular as are recycled corduroy skirts with floral inserts.

The key to a successful hippie look is to wear many layers including vests, belts and scarves as well as a perky wool artist's tam. In terms of footwear think Frye boots in a tam color and Jesus sandals for slogging around at home. Mocassins worn with socks and bright and shiny satin style leggings in a neon color are also in style.

Looking like a little jailbird is also cool. Gray flannel shirts, pants and dresses with lateral stripes are also considered to be very cool.

One look at this fashion trend tells me that it is probably a great idea to take my kids right to the used clothing store so they can mix and match their own look. It is a good way to teach them to put an outfit together on a budget!

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