Colic Is Not Your Fault

You've heard about this but you never thought it would happen to you. You are the proud brand new parents of a miserable, inconsolable newborn who does not stop screaming and who can't sleep and can barely feed! So much for the joys of parenthood

Sleepless nights are spent in complete sacrifice to try and remedy your child's numerous complaints and problems but those few moments of peace that you long for just never seem to come. Days run into weeks and you wonder how you could possible be such a rotten parent what you did to cause this.

Then you get the diagnosis from your pediatrician and uh oh – it's colic. Most parents have the right to dread this diagnosis simply because the word 'colic' is one of those throwaway diagnosis like fibromylagia or personality disorder. It has no meaning and a multifarious number of meanings at the same time. It is also a diagnosis that means 'it's nothing' while at the same time being a big deal that could keep you up at night and worried at night for as long as two years.

The first thing you need to realize is that colic is not your fault. It is one of those random acts of Mother Nature rigged to make you feel guilty but it its occurrence has nothing to do with you.

Colic is a condition that can sometimes only be managed rather than cured. Sometimes your doctor is reluctant to tell you this at first. After weeks of dealing with a cranky kid you might still be hoping that somehow that the next visit to your pediatrician can help you fix the colic. After three or four visits you are definitely going to get the impression that you are getting the bum's rush out of the doctor's office. You might even hear the line 'We've done all we can do.'

The best thing you can do for you and your baby is drop any kind of self –blame or negative self talk and realize that your child is in crisis and that you need to weather it through with him or her. Colic is the result of bad parenting, a lack of love or bad karma. It 'just happens' just like that other four letter word that starts with an S.

You need to keep in mind that for decades down that any time a kid screamed it was called colic. In fact all colic really means is a baby that is fussy because it is irritable.

Keep in mind that colic was never really defined. It was just a catchall phrase that was coined in an era when doctors did attribute cranky baby behavior to irresponsible parenting, spoiling the baby and all types of causes.

In a way it is an exciting time to have a baby who has colic because it is actually an area of infant care that is being revolutionized. The old theories are no longer being subscribed to and your problem is being considered more seriously not only by allopathic doctors but also by and alternative practictioners.

Shower Cash for New Moms

The baby shower is a great venue for which to solicit funds for a new mom.
Sometimes the mother-to-be is strapped for cash, in which case you can set up a donation station at the event.

There are several fun ways to set up a donation station that is fun and makes people smile as they hand over their dollars or their checks.

One suggestion would be to create a Money Tree. This is a branch or small coniferous tree that is set up near the doorway. As guests leave or come in, they are encouraged to attach paper money to the tree with clothespins. You can also provide small envelopes for them to put cash in and hang on the tree if that is preferable.

Your could also try stringing a Money Clothesline across one of the main rooms. Guests are encouraged to attach paper money with regular clothespins so that it dangles like laundry. You can also supply a pen so they can write messages of good will to the mom on the money.

A traditional bank for the new mom at a shower is the paper pail. T he pail is clearly labeled as Mommy Fund and guests are encouraged to step on the pedal and drop money in the bucket.

Another tradition is to take money is collected from guests by an appointed friend and gathered into a diaper, pinned and presented to the mother

Baby Bulletin Board – A bulletin board is set up with a picture of the mother along with a sign that encourages guests to pin money to the bulletin board

You could also try making a Money Daisy-.Cut a circle of cardboard (with a picture of the mother in the center if you like) and decorate the fringes with dollar bills. Encourage others to make the daisy “bloom”

More discreet methods of collecting money for the expectant mother include:
Buying a teddy bear or other stuffed toy that zips up and asking people to stuff it with paper bills or doing the same with a beautiful cushion and calling it The Financial Cushion.

One way to really surprise a new mom is to collect the money in an envelope and tucking it under her pillow in her hose or in her purse for her to discover later.

Opening a bank account in the mother’s name and then handing her the account book at the end of the party might also be a very charming idea. Package the bank book in a card or wrap it up to make this more of a ceremonial gesture.

At any rate this is certainly a gesture that would be appreciated by any new mother unless they are quite independently wealthy.