Leaving Your Kids Alone

Are you working your kids too hard. The latest movement in parenting is to leave your kids alone and I think I agree. They only get to be innocent and happy for so long. I am not even such a fan of homework for that very reason. Schools and governments are tyrannical and laying the homework on too thick. Furthermore too many kids that I see, especially ethnic ones, are coming up from school and then stuck working in the family business. Some of these poor kids are working twelve-hour work days between their part time jobs, homework and going to school in the first place.

Then there is the other type of parent that can't leave their kid alone because they are trying to raise a genius. They cram the kids day full of activities like judo, tennis, piano and art class. At home they are put on a program of watching educational televise or working on the computer. Now wonder our kids are so tired. Is a wireless Nintendo that far of a cry away from just handing the kid their own organizer like a Blackberry.

All these activities that we force on our kids impose costs on the parents and they also don't levee your kid any breathing room so he or she can just fool around. Yet another problem with overworking your kids is that it can cause their creativity to be stifled. Yet another problem is that children will develop the attitude that they always think they need others to do stuff for them on a full time basis. They forget to use their own problem solving abilities and fail to see innovative solutions or even obvious solutions to problems. They are overstrained.

Leaving your child alone does not mean being negligent. However it does mean being a little more carefree when it comes to raising them. You don't have to watch them every minute. And you do not have to run every single hour of their lives. Let them breathe and take a stroll every now and then. We are raising kids that are anxious way before their time. Many of them deal with the anxiety that we lay on them with bad habits. Younger children pick their nose or bite their nails. Older children start smoking, drinking and doing drugs. They are self-medicating to eliminate their anxiety.

You need not worry that your kid will be too lazy if you are not on his or her back all of the time. Most kids, when left to their own devices do find something to do. They like to be busy but on their own terms. Doing things on their own terms allows them to discover what they like doing in life as well as their own limitations. Without you around always making decisions for the kid they can learn to make decisions on their own. The result is a healthier, wiser and more confident adult in the end.

Parenting Tips
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Colic Is Not Your Fault

You've heard about this but you never thought it would happen to you. You are the proud brand new parents of a miserable, inconsolable newborn who does not stop screaming and who can't sleep and can barely feed! So much for the joys of parenthood

Sleepless nights are spent in complete sacrifice to try and remedy your child's numerous complaints and problems but those few moments of peace that you long for just never seem to come. Days run into weeks and you wonder how you could possible be such a rotten parent what you did to cause this.

Then you get the diagnosis from your pediatrician and uh oh – it's colic. Most parents have the right to dread this diagnosis simply because the word 'colic' is one of those throwaway diagnosis like fibromylagia or personality disorder. It has no meaning and a multifarious number of meanings at the same time. It is also a diagnosis that means 'it's nothing' while at the same time being a big deal that could keep you up at night and worried at night for as long as two years.

The first thing you need to realize is that colic is not your fault. It is one of those random acts of Mother Nature rigged to make you feel guilty but it its occurrence has nothing to do with you.

Colic is a condition that can sometimes only be managed rather than cured. Sometimes your doctor is reluctant to tell you this at first. After weeks of dealing with a cranky kid you might still be hoping that somehow that the next visit to your pediatrician can help you fix the colic. After three or four visits you are definitely going to get the impression that you are getting the bum's rush out of the doctor's office. You might even hear the line 'We've done all we can do.'

The best thing you can do for you and your baby is drop any kind of self –blame or negative self talk and realize that your child is in crisis and that you need to weather it through with him or her. Colic is the result of bad parenting, a lack of love or bad karma. It 'just happens' just like that other four letter word that starts with an S.

You need to keep in mind that for decades down that any time a kid screamed it was called colic. In fact all colic really means is a baby that is fussy because it is irritable.

Keep in mind that colic was never really defined. It was just a catchall phrase that was coined in an era when doctors did attribute cranky baby behavior to irresponsible parenting, spoiling the baby and all types of causes.

In a way it is an exciting time to have a baby who has colic because it is actually an area of infant care that is being revolutionized. The old theories are no longer being subscribed to and your problem is being considered more seriously not only by allopathic doctors but also by and alternative practictioners.

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