Leaving Your Kids Alone

Are you working your kids too hard. The latest movement in parenting is to leave your kids alone and I think I agree. They only get to be innocent and happy for so long. I am not even such a fan of homework for that very reason. Schools and governments are tyrannical and laying the homework on too thick. Furthermore too many kids that I see, especially ethnic ones, are coming up from school and then stuck working in the family business. Some of these poor kids are working twelve-hour work days between their part time jobs, homework and going to school in the first place.

Then there is the other type of parent that can't leave their kid alone because they are trying to raise a genius. They cram the kids day full of activities like judo, tennis, piano and art class. At home they are put on a program of watching educational televise or working on the computer. Now wonder our kids are so tired. Is a wireless Nintendo that far of a cry away from just handing the kid their own organizer like a Blackberry.

All these activities that we force on our kids impose costs on the parents and they also don't levee your kid any breathing room so he or she can just fool around. Yet another problem with overworking your kids is that it can cause their creativity to be stifled. Yet another problem is that children will develop the attitude that they always think they need others to do stuff for them on a full time basis. They forget to use their own problem solving abilities and fail to see innovative solutions or even obvious solutions to problems. They are overstrained.

Leaving your child alone does not mean being negligent. However it does mean being a little more carefree when it comes to raising them. You don't have to watch them every minute. And you do not have to run every single hour of their lives. Let them breathe and take a stroll every now and then. We are raising kids that are anxious way before their time. Many of them deal with the anxiety that we lay on them with bad habits. Younger children pick their nose or bite their nails. Older children start smoking, drinking and doing drugs. They are self-medicating to eliminate their anxiety.

You need not worry that your kid will be too lazy if you are not on his or her back all of the time. Most kids, when left to their own devices do find something to do. They like to be busy but on their own terms. Doing things on their own terms allows them to discover what they like doing in life as well as their own limitations. Without you around always making decisions for the kid they can learn to make decisions on their own. The result is a healthier, wiser and more confident adult in the end.

Young Girls More At Risk Than Ever

When it comes to drug addiction young teenage girls are more at risk than ever. Am I surprised. No I know this from watching my own young teen. The other day I caught her talking on the phone to a friend and telling her 'I could really use a lorezapam.' She is only fourteen.

So where did she get this idea she could really use a lorezapam (which is a drug ten times as strong as valium.) Well it just so happens that her cousin who is eighteen has bee prescribed it for some kind of anxiety disorder. And now she thinks it cool to be all upset and on a drug as well. It does not help either that half of my family is on anti-depressants are anti-anxiety drugs of one form on another either. So she gets the idea that it is her life path to eventually be on them from us as well.

Not only that a ivillage.com also recently reported a study that teen girls are also feeling more competitive with boys lately and think they can do everything the same way boys can – including the way boys drink and do drugs. Girls now take steroids and chug down kegs of beer too after a football game. They are also smoking drinking and getting into car accidental at accelerated rates. There is also a terrible rise in teen pregnancies, which means that these girls also have an unrealistic view of themselves as being strong enough personally and financially to be a single mother.

A study conducted in 2006 by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse showed that girls aged 12-17 were at a high risk than boys for substance abuse. Another 2006 study, this by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy also revealed that more teen girls rather than teen boys are addicted to drinking, drugs and shoeing. And finally, a recent University of California study revealed that teen girls are almost as bad as the boys when it comes to getting in car accidents.

The bottom line is that girls cannot handle the same amount of this type of addictive stress as boys. They are smaller physically and more hormonal. However I can't tell my teenager daughter anything like that or else I am being sexist and not a feminist. Not that she likes feminists much either. She would see having a baby out of wedlock as an expression of her independence or even love of some guy rather than as an act of feminism.

Still I know that her and her friends consider themselves to be better than boys in many ways. I have heard them talking about how women have greater stamina or how a girl can do anything that she wants. Still, having girls on par with the boys when it comes to adolescent alcohol or drug abuse or car accidents is not great of an achievement.